A Sign Your FPGP Pick Sucks

Omar Uresti - 2nd Round at Pebble Beach on Friday
Play by Play for the Par 5, 543 yards 18th Hole

Shot 1: 256 yds to left fairway, 273 yds to hole
Shot 2: 212 yds to left fairway, 69 yds to hole
Shot 3: 55 yds to green, 42 ft to hole <---- 42 feet to the hole from 55 yards?????

Yo! Omar. Practice your short game!

Vodanovitch: Roadway Menace or Libertarian Traiblazer?

Witness the recent cage match with your favorite FPGP Libertarian Steve "Mr. 38" Vodanovitch going up against Escambia's finest. On this sunny day our fellow FPGPer racked up his 38th ticket...no there were no balloons, no confetti, and no $1000 shopping spree. Our lectern-jockey, at the tip of the taser, issued no sarcasm and opted not to reach into his overflowing cornucopia of expletives, not even a muted "don't tase me bro" flowed from his cajun cakehole. No worries my friend, that traffic point system is as meaningless as those pesky speed limits, registration stickers, and that cumbersome seatbelt. Pishaw, pishaw, a bench warrant is no reason to give up your Nathan Hale attitide, to sacrifice your pride..that should be reserved for when you start begging students or da Rodent for rides.

UPDATE 2/4/08

Here is this week's update, and you can see all of the data here. There are 3 tabs at the top of this link, one that opens up when you click in that shows how the individual points are made, another that has all of our teams and "leaderboard" and one that is labelled "accounting" which is just how I keep track of the money into the pool.

422 .... Excal
409 .... Da Bandit
326 .... Stan the Man
305 .... Tev
291 .... MG
284 .... Vic
274 .... Steve T.
247 .... Shades
210 .... Stevie V.
111 .... Shize
85 .... CASWAS
62 .... DTM
-15 .... Shane/Jay
-30 .... Johnny V.
-37 .... Dave/Mark
-44 .... Robbo
-75 .... Ryan

FPGP DATA

If you want to see the actual data used to calculate the standings, you can click here. I've put this link on the sidebar as well, so you can come back from time to time and check my math.

Now... if there is a mistake, try not to get your panties in a wad. It will be easily corrected. I do suggest that everyone looks at their players to make sure I have the starting values correct.

UPDATE 1/28/08

Here is your first update of the year... it's a marathon not a sprint, yadda yadda yadda... still, not surprising at all that Bandit jumped right out of the gate and into the lead. The man is a machine. Also not surprising is that the newest bigmouth to the pool, "The Shize" is plugging away with a whopping 12 points.

429 .... Bandit
416 .... Excal
329 .... Stan the Man
316 .... Vic
299 .... Tev
263 .... MG
263 .... Shades
246 .... Steve T.
210 .... Stevie V.
128 .... CASWAS
107 .... DTM
12 .... The Shize
-11 .... Johnny V.
-37 .... Robbo
-39 .... Dave/Mark
-81 .... Shane/Jay
-87 .... Ryan

Now, before you all get in a tizzy, these are the point totals that include PGA players who have made at least one cut. I am not going to invoke the Gossett Rule until the beginning of the trade window. As such, the following Tour players were not used in the calculations of these totals:

Clark, Tim
Clarke, Darren
Curtis, Ben
Duval, David
Els, Ernie
Faxon, Brad
Goosen, Retief
Immelman, Trevor
Jobe, Brandt
Johnson, Richard S.
Love, Davis
Overton, Jeff
Poulter, Ian
Quigley, Bret
Rose, Justin
Scott, Adam
Stenson, Henrik
Toms, David
Mediate, Rocco (short)

I will email the spreadsheet to Shades in a minute, and hopefully he'll be able to perty up the sidebar so you can see where your points are coming from on a player by player basis.

Gore/Licklighter & the Navy Seals

Watch the video HERE.

Good stuff JG!

Update... TOMORROW!

Get ready for the shit to start flying... I'll post our first update of the year tomorrow. I am not going to invoke the Gossett Rule until the first week of trades though, as doing so will completely screw up the standings. So, if you have a player who has not made a cut or played in a tourney, they will simply be at 0.

And The Early Favorite...

For next year's most popular short pick is...

TRASHCAN!

Is anyone else out there amazed that this d-bag is a multiple winner on Tour?

King's, Bear's, Sawgrass and You?

I must like failure, but here I go trying to really put a plan together for an FPGP 2008 Golf Event(s). Regardless, here we go...



September 12th - 15th
3 Nights, 3 Rounds of Golf
World Golf Village, St. Augustine, FL
Stay at the Grand Villa's at the WGV.
2 Rounds at the King & Bear Course at the WGV & 1 Round at the TPC Sawgrass Stadium Course (#17-Par 3 shown above.)

Cost is $739 PP Quad (so we need 4 or 8 to make this a good deal.)



I figure the Florida FPGPers and I could drive so we wouldn't need a rental car.

Any thoughts, comments or suggestions?

Which A-list Stars Are Playing With Your FPGP Team?

Click the image to enlarge.

2 Suggestions for the FPGP 2008

1. [Don't shoot my moderate-left heart]Would anyone else want to second or third that we donate all the trade fees to the charity of the winner's choice?

2. FPGP meet-up, golf, drink, golf, drink, etc. We tried to get a get together for Myrtle Beach last year, but that was like pulling teeth. So here's the deal. Who wants to meet up in Vegas? I'm thinking late July or early August. "It's hot in July and August", so what? We live in an era of global warming. It's hot everywhere. So if you're interested, let me know and I'll start putting together the details.

UPDATES

I'll start posting weekly (give or take) updates in a couple weeks... we need a few full field events to make the standings make a little sense.

It's not Tiger that some in the FPGP need to worry about.

it's KJ CHOI!

Here's the Field for the Bob Hope

Could this be the first tournament with 2 Dick Johnson's?

Just click on the image to expand it to a readable size.

Pop Quiz:

What's worse than shorting Steve Stricker?



Answer: Shorting KJ Choi!!!!

Congrats, you made the cut, but you aren't playing.

The new rule this year on tour is that while you may make the cut, only the the top 78 get to play. So if you "make the cut" but more than 78 also make the cut, the cut line moves up a stroke and you don't play on the weekend. The good thing is that you get last place money. So at the Sony, players finishing at Even will not play this weekend, but will earn about $11,000 for "making the cut".

Congrats to Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey for making his first cut.

Our first W/D of the year goes to......

Frank Lickliter II. Way to go Frank. 1st in Q-school and now 1st in W/D's. Frank was injury riddled last year, so is this something that will dog him all year? Good luck finding out on the internet(s). Reasons for W/D's and player injuries in general are very tough to find. I don't understand why. In just about every other major sport you can get the player's MRI somewhere online.

UPDATE:
Frank W/D'd because his wife gave birth to twins. They were born premature and thus the surprise W/D. Congrats to Frank and his family!

Official 2008 PGA Tour Exemption List

I have no idea why it took this long for the PGA Tour to get this page up on PGATOUR.com, but here it is in case you wanted to see who is on a medical exemption or some other reason: http://www.pgatour.com/players/pgatour-exempt/.

2008 Rosters...

Timmy will not be re-joining us this year, but I'd expect him to throw some bombs from the sidelines...

Jeff has the spreadsheet and will be posting the rosters shortly.

Good luck everyone!

On Tim and the Shorting of Steve Stricker...

I heard back from Tim... he's had a bunch going on and wasn't able to access his email for a couple weeks. I told him he could do the late picks with Mercedes penalties, and I'm waiting to hear back from him. Either way, I'll send the rosters to Jeff on Thursday so we can all see what we are up against this year.

And yes... a few teams shorted Steve Stricker. I've never been a big fan of shorting good putters, because they tend to get hot as hell from time to time... We'll see how it all works out, but I am sure a few teams breathed a sigh of relief last night when Strick lost the playoff to Chopra.

FPGPers Against Calc!!!

There's a lot more hills to climb in Hawaii.

EDITORIAL CORRECTION

Bandit has won this baby THREE times, not twice.

A bad short pick?

I'll admit that I didn't short Mark Calcavecchia, but he was on my list of guys to short list (Sorry Tev). But given Calc's age (born in 1960) and, err... shape/conditioning (6'/225lbs? - 225 my ass), why wouldn't he be a good short pick. He made about $2,000,000 more in '07 ($2,993,332) than in '06 and would he really win again this year? Maybe if he keeps having score cards that look like this.

Even in this limited field that was the low score of the day and thru 2 rounds Calc is only 3 shots back of the leader.

Get To Know Your FPGPers...

With a big influx of rookies this season, I thought I'd take a minute to "introduce" each team and give a little background,... that way we all know who is talking smack to who.

LAST YEAR'S MONEY WINNERS

New Tex/Steve: Hey, that's me! I'm your commish, which means I have to deal with all of the bullshit rulings and I also tabulate the updates each week. I'm the current defending champ of this pool, and one of two two-time winners over the pool's 10 year history.

Da Bandit: Also referred to as Da Boca Bandit, this is our career money leader, as far as I can tell. The first member of the two-time winner club, Bandit has cashed in this pool each of the last four years, including a 2nd place finish last year. His nickname comes from his penchance for stealing other player's picks.

Excal/Joel: The man who founded this pool, and also made a late charge last year to finish in da money. The man loves to bet, smoke cigars, drink beer and play golf, although he's only proficient in two of those activities. When he plays, he carries a minimum of 18 clubs, tees the balls from 3 feet in front of the markers, takes all putts inside 5 feet, and hollars "no justice!" at every bad bounce. He also has one helluva mime outfit.

Tev: This is Tev's sophomore season, after a "succesful" rookie season in which he won the Duffer Award, a one-time prize for the last place finisher in the pool. He's an in-law of Jeff, but is otherwise a good guy and pretty quiet. Don't expect a lot of chatter from Tev.

RETURNING VETERANS

Shades/Jeff: My right hand man at FPGP Central. Jeff is the person who maintains the blog and makes the updates "pretty". If you are ever on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, make sure you add Jeff to your "call a friend" list, because you might just get a question on the swing weight in Tag Ridings driver... and Jeff would know it. Jeff is 0 for life in the blog, which is to say he is our greatest contributor.

Murph/MG03/JG59: Murph is the money person making picks for a certain Tour family, who's name is never to be uttered on this blog. MG fears being the Janet Gretzky of the golf world. We thought this team would have a ton of inside information last year, but not so much. We expect big things out of them this year though.

Talonflier/Vic: This is Vic's 3rd season in the pool. Last year he had slight hold on 3rd place money, but his team collapsed after the Fed Ex Cup finals, prompting him to petition a "let's end this pool after the Fed Ex Cup!!!" request. Despite being a Yankee fan, he's quite funny. Some of you youngins may need a dictionary to understand his posts.

CASWAS: This is Jeff's second donation team, representing his kid's picks. Let's hope they inherited their golf picking genes from their mom.

Stevie V.: An FPGP veteran who was awful in his early years but has come into prominence as of late. He's a colleague of Rob/Rodent, he knows Bandit "professionally", and his brother is also in the pool. Needless to say, he is a great slinger of da smack.

Johnny V.: Brother to Stevie V., and legendary man about town in New Orleans. Let's his picks do the talking, and never contributes to the blog.

Rob/Rodent/Diddler: It takes a special man to have this many nicknames. I won't get into why some of his friends call him "da rodent", but he's known as "da diddler" for making late decisions and having to ask his wife if he can spend money. The man does like to gamble though, so if you are looking for side bet action, look no further. Robbo and I were in a virtual dead heat in the 1st ever FPGP with one week to go, a year when we played "winner take all". I offered him a draw right before the last tourney started and he declined... and lost his half of an $800 pot. Like I said... the man likes to gamble.

Stan the Man: A colleague of mine who doesn't contribute to the blog.

ROOKIES

Shane/Jay/Da Rooks: Shane is a friend of mine from Illinois who was too cheap/scared to enter his own team, so he hedged with his neighbor, Jay. Together, they are "da rooks". At least they got the "da" part correct.

David/Mark: Another two-headed team, David is a colleague of mine from New York (yes, another fucking Yankee fan) who pulled in his old college roomate to put together a team. Special note: Mark is running a death pool this year, so you know these guys are twisted.

Drew/The Shize: Drew is Jay's brother, and he wants to call his team "The Shize". Ugh. Thanks for the donations rookie.

Ryan: A co-worker of Jay. I know nothing of this man.

AND A SURPRISE...

Da Dummy: YES! Da Dummy is back! Old-timers may remember when I used to draw random players for a Dummy picks team. Dummy doesn't contribute or win the pool, but he does set the benchmark for awful picks. I mean, if you can't beat a randomly generated team of players, how horrible are your picks?

GROUND RULES

Feel free to egg each other on, talk smack, etc. If you personally know someone, feel free to flame them... but don't flame people you don't know. If the shit-talking gets out of hand between people who are strangers, or if anything truly offensive is put up on the blog, I reserve the right to kick your ass off the blog and make you sit quietly in the corner. That said, your money is in and no matter how much of a shit you may be, you're in the pool for the entire year. Just be cool on the blog. For example, it's ok for the Florida guys (bandit, stevie v., rob) to give each other all the crap they want... but if a rookie jumps on and goes over the line, I'm shutting you down. Keep the shit talking to comments about the picks, and all is well.

ROSTERS... Next Week

We have 16 teams in at the deadline. Normally, I'd pass the rosters along to Jeff so he can put them up on the sidebar, but Timmy D., aka "Bimma", seems to be MIA. I've emailed him and Bandit has tried to track him down. Given his involvment in the pool/blog last year, I can't imagine he is just bagging this thing without letting us know, so something may be up. I've made an executive decision to let him come in as late as next Wednesday. His penalty will be that if he picks any of the players that were in the Sony this week, he will not get the money they earned.

Because Bimma may still be out there and interested, I am not going to post the 16 rosters until I get word from him on his intentions, or when the late deadline passes. Unless you want to open the door to potential sniping and banditing (remember who brought Timmy into this pool last year...), do not post your picks on the blog or in the comment sections. Just hold your horses for a few days.

Oh, and for "DaRooks"... we already have a Jeff/Shades, so I don't need phone calls after every shot is hit in every tourney. For fuck's sake, this is a marathon, not a sprint. True story... Jeff IMs me yesterday to say that Stephen Ames is either struggling or hitting a hybrid off the tee, because his driving distance average was only 240 yards. Yes, Jeff was IMing stats after less than 9 holes of play.

This is going to be a long year.

Glib Rodent

It's the beginning of the FPGP year and da Rodent is typically smug about his chances. He's already taken on 2 side bets with me and da Bandit. Jump in while the water is good. He won't be taking any bets after his team starts to fade in early summer.

The only caveat is that 2008 is the Year of the Rat!!!

Zero Hour

Just a few more hours remain to get those picks in without penalty... so far I have 10 teams in, and I am expecting at least three more (Stan the Man, and two two-headed newbie teams), and quite possibly a small fistfull more after that. Shades has decided to hedge his bets by entering TWO teams this year, one for him and one for his kids. This is not unprecedented, as Excal has done this in the past as well.

If anyone else wants to enter a 2nd team, by all means, just let me know. And no, you do not get a discount for refering yourself.

I'll be in Phoenix for a couple weeks starting on Sunday, but will try to get all the rosters set up and sent to Jeff for posting this weekend.

Good luck everyone.

GAME ON! TEE IT UP!

Number of Picks...

People... you get NINE total picks... not eight.

Da Commish's Picks...

Ok you vultures... here are my picks for 2008.... make sure you get your's in by next Thursday.

REGULAR PICKS
Phil Mickleson (2)
David Duval (222)
Nick Flanagan (209)
Stuart Appleby (45)
Kenny Perry (79)
Frank Lickliter (139)
Jim Furyk (7)
Chad Campbell (49)

SHORT PICK
Woody Austin (15)

So far, I have entry fees from: Excal, Bandit, Shades, Tev and myself... make sure you get your picks and entry fees in soon!

The Banker Says Less Than 12 Days.

Tiger to skip Mercedes again

Last year as President of the "I Hate Tiger fan club", I took a lashing for complaining that ol'Tiger Woods was too busy to play the Mercedes Championship because he was pushing the new Buick crossover at the Detroit Auto Show. So this year I'm simply going to say that the PGA Tour and players thank you. Less people watch PGA Tour events when you don't play so eventually that will lead to lower prize money in events that you don't play in. The PGA Tour is already having some issues with finding sponsors, but thank god Justin Timberlake is a big golf fan. So without Tiger Woods and Justin Timberlake there would be 2 less events for the players to make money since each is sponsoring an event. Oh well, that's my annual rant on Tiger. Now he can go out there and win $10 million.

Rory shown the goods on the course.

Even a kangaroo will show him how to have "fun" on the golf course.


BTW, is Rory going to be the 2008 whipping boy of the FPGP?

A Reason to Short Wil MacKenzie Next Year...

Uh... this is his girlfriend, and my guess is he's going to have trouble concentrating on his golf game.I'm sure she's lovely, blah blah blah... but damn!

More photos here... you pervs!

Golf with Tommy "Two Gloves"

I played some golf with Tommy "Two Gloves" today at the course that each of us used to work for in Charleston. I've got to say, that Tommy's game is very much improved from the last time I played with him and even better then when I caddied for him this past spring at the US Open Qualifier in Charleston. Yeah, he can drive the ball a good bit over 300 yards off the tee, but his short game is dead on right now. So although I am a "homer" and pulling for Tommy to do good, I think he could be a nice surprise on the PGA Tour this year if he can keep the space between the ears clear.

BTW, I mentioned to him a JG/New Tex vs "Two Gloves"/Shades best ball match in 2008. I think depending on schedules, that it is doable. JG/New Tex, you up for a little match?

FPGP 2008 RULES

Do you have an incredibly cool blog that allows FPGPers to view updates, rankings, etc. as well as harass (that’s two words Joel, not one) each other on a regular basis?

Yes. All pool information is posted to our blog. This is done to ensure that email In Boxes are not filled with rants and raves about our picks. If you are interested in the chatter, you can go find it; if not, you can ignore it. I suggest everyone gets a blogger ID so they can post comments and blog posts, as this has been a great source of fun since the blog inception in 2006.

How much is the entrance fee?

The same amount as always, $100 US dollars. It's a small price to pay for a year of fun and aggravation. Further, veterans of the FPGP will receive a $10 discount for each new player they get to enter the pool. The goal is to have as many entries as possible.

What’s the timeframe?

The FPGP officially starts with the Mercedes Championship beginning on January 3rd, 2008 and ends on November 9th, 2008 with the completion of the Fall Finish. Even though the Fed Ex Cup is completed earlier in the Fall, there are several official PGA Tour events from September thru the Disney, and all of those will be counted in the standings, despite outcries by FPGP veteran, Vic.

What’s the format?

• Each FPGP participant selects 9 PGA Tour players from the 2007 Money List . To be as clear as possible: you may not choose a player who is not on this list. So, no picking Michelle Wie. No picking guys who made it through Q-school, but who did not have official earnings on the PGA Tour in 2007 (i.e., The “Tommy Gainey Rule”). No picking a guy who qualified through the Nationwide Tour but did not have any official earnings on the PGA Tour in 2007…

• Once again, TIGER WOODS is off the board. If there is a player that EVERYONE picks, I will drop him from the picks and allow everyone a re-pick so we can get some variability like we did in 2006 with Ernie Els.

How are points earned in the FPGP XI?

There are two types of picks which we call “regular” and “short.”

REGULAR PICKS

For “regular” picks, you earn points based on:

1) Positive (i.e. improvement) changes in the PGA Money List rankings from 2007 to 2008.

2) Actual money earned on the PGA Tour in 2008.

Assume you select our FPGP blog buddy Jason Gore, who finished the 2007 season ranked 88th on the money list. Now assume that Jason Gore finishes the 2008 season ranked 50th on the money list. Such movement would earn you 38 points. However, if Jason Gore fell to 150th on the money list you would LOSE 62 points for that pick.

With regard to the “earnings points” you gain 1 point for every $100,000 that your "regular" players earn on PGA tour in 2006. Again, if you selected Jason Gore and he earned $1,243,332 next year, you would gain 12 points under his earnings. Please note that points are rounded up. For example, a player earning $551,000 will earn you 6 points, while a player earning $549,000 will get you 5 points.

So, let’s put it all together… assume you pick Jason Gore at 88th , and he finishes the 2008 with $1,432,323 and at 62nd on the money list. You’d gain 15 “earning” points and 26 “ranking” points, for a total of 15 points.

As a reminder, you can pick anyone from the list at the bottom of these rules… Q-school graduates are fine, AS LONG AS THEY ARE ON THIS LIST. That is, you can pick a guy who did not keep their card but re-earned it at Q-school, but you cannot pick players that did not make the list last year. The obvious reason for this is that such players have no “starting” position in the rankings.

SHORT PICKS

The so-called “short” pick name derives itself from the stock market. The idea here is that you are able to pick player(s) who you think had a better than average year in 2007, and you anticipate they will fall in the rankings (i.e., get worse) in 2008.

For “short” picks, points are based on:

1) Negative changes in the PGA Money List rankings from 2007 to 2008.

2) Actual money earned on the PGA Tour in 2008, only in this case you LOSE points as that player earns money.

Again, to illustrate, assume that as a short pick you take Briny Baird, ranked at 100th on last year’s money list. Further assume that he falls to 120th on the 2008 money list. That fall would GAIN you 20 points. Conversely, if he finished the 2008 season ranked 20th on the money list, you would LOSE 80 points. Needless to say, you root for your short pick(s) to have bad years.

Also, for every $100,000 your “short” pick(s) earn, you LOSE one point. So, let’s say you picked Baird as a “short” and he earned $1,040,025 and finished 105th on the money list. You would lose 10 “earning” points for the million in earnings, and gain 5 “ranking” points, for a net of -5 points for that selection.

What is the David Gossett Rule?

If a player fails to make a single cut, their earnings are set to $0, and their “ranking” is set to the last player on tour plus one. For example, one of last year’s picks, Craig Perks, did not earn any official money on tour. Because there were 256 players (Guy Boros was #256) who earned some money on tour, Craig Perks “ranking” was set to 257. Note that the only dollars that count in this pool are official PGA Tour dollars. If you pick some limey who makes 2 million euros on the European Tour, but nothing on the PGA Tour, you get nada.

CONSTRAINTS ON REGULAR AND SHORT PICKS

1. You may take as many as two short picks, but you have to have at least one. So, your line up is either 8 regular and 1 short pick, or 7 regular and 2 short picks.

2. The short pick(s) must meet the following conditions:

a. They had to finish in the top 125 on the 2007 PGA Tour Money List. That is, they must have FULL STATUS ON THE PGA TOUR. NO NATIONWIDE OR Q-SCHOOL GRADUATES CAN BE USED AS A SHORT PICK.

b. The Loren Roberts Rule. Short picks may not be over the age of 50, or turning 50 this year. That is, you can’t pull a 2006 Loren Roberts, and have your short pick playing on the Senior Tour all season, thus earning virtually no PGA Tour Money despite having full status on the PGA Tour. Simply put, you can’t short Fred Funk, although if you want him as a regular pick, knock yourself out. I am not going to compile a list of “those you can’t short because of this rule” but I’ll take a close look at each short pick as they come in and make sure the Loren Roberts Rule is not violated.

3. Only 4 of your picks can be players in the Top 30 on the money list.

TRADES

One trade is allowed and it'll cost you a grand total of $20!! If you make a trade, the points that your new player earns will be counted from that point forward based on the player’s money list position at that time, not their 2007 money list position, and the points from your original player will be eliminated whether they are positive or negative. Trade details:

a. The trade must be for one of your “regular” picks. That is, you cannot trade your short pick(s).

b. Trade Window. Also known as the Greg Owen Rule, trades will only be allowed between March 10th and June 1st . Trades are registered when I receive notification of the trade via email, and are officially consummated when I receive funds for the trade. If funds are not received within a week of notification, the trade will be null and voided, and the FPGPer will not be allowed another trade. There will be NO discussion on this. If the little trade light bulb strikes you in the middle of a tourney, that is fine… but the trade does not go into effect until the following week.

c. The player you trade for must have been ranked lower than your traded player on the 2007 Money List. For example, if you want to trade Mathew Goggin (103rd on the 2007 Money List), you can only trade him for someone who was ranked 104th or worse on the 2007 Money List. The players’ positions on the 2008 Money List are irrelevant with regard to who you can and cannot trade for.


How do I ante up?

Checks must be post-marked by 11AM EST on Jan. 3rd, 2008 or you can't play. Send checks/paypal (prefered) to me...

What’s the payoff?

The payoffs are determined on the cumulative total of your team. If you have one guy who earns 300 points, and the rest of them are -200… sorry, you lose. This is a team game.

After all of the whining last year, here is what were are doing:

3rd place: $120, which covers all costs in the pool.
2nd place: 30% of remaining pot.
1st place: 70% of remaining pot.

No Duffer Award this year.

How do I enter?

Send me your picks via e-mail (stevetuholski@hotmail.com). Make sure you include whether a pick is a regular or short pick, as well as that player's 2007 Money List ranking.

Good luck everyone… let the games begin!

Oh, and don’t forget… I’m not just the Commish… I’m the defending champ!

What is your personal golfing goal in 2008?

Heading into the new FPGP season, I thought it might be interesting to hear what each of us have for a personal goal in our individual golf games for 2008. For example, my goal is to make it past the first stage of the SC Amateur Qualifier. But maybe your goal is to break a certain score or play a certain course or qualify for the Masters.

Blog Update

I made a template change to take advantage of all the space near the top of the blog. Hopefully this makes the site look cleaner and makes links easier to find. Also, I added "headlines" to the sidebar.

Aussie PGA Championship

Our friend JG is playing down under this week at the Australian PGA Championship. You can read the preview of the tournament HERE.

Live Scoring - Australian PGA Championship LINK

What's in Joel's bag?

Well Joel was a great host on Saturday. I had the chance to leave my kids with my wife's aunt and uncle. My kids love going there as they have 4 horses. I had intended to just play a round of golf locally in Charleston, but had an idea of calling Joel to see if he wanted to play. My kids were off my hands for the weekend and my wife was at a conference in San Diego, so I was going to play golf somewhere. So I called Joel and he got permission to play. I think the conversation was, "Hey baby, I'm playing golf with Shades! What?.. Maybe you didn't hear me! I'm golfing with Shades!" or something like that. So I drove up to Columbia (SC) and we played 18 at Indian River. Neither of us played real well. I can't putt to save my life. I mean, it's sick just how bad my putting is. Anyway..after the round, Joel invited me to his home for some great steaks on the grill and many beers. He and his wife let me crash at their home for the night. What a great host and fun time.

But that's not why you are reading this post. The title says "What's in Joel's bag?" Well, take a look.

Golf Balls - Will it blend?

Get to know your fellow FPGPer's

I've added the links to the personal blogs of New Tex and myself. If you have a personal blog and would like new and old FPGPer's to get to know you better (or for worse) then put your blog address in the comments section and I'll add it to the sidebar. Obviously none of us can beat Double P's blog, but then again not all of us have the blogging budget of a PGA Tour player.

Don't have a personal blog to tell the world how cool you are? Get a free blog .

2008 PGA Tour Schedule Is Out

2007 FPGP Awards!!!

After this record breaking season, I thought it was important to recognize the good, the bad, and the Rodent. Let's get to it.

Best Trade: This one has to go to Excal. He waited until the last minute, and pulled Tim Clark out of thin air... gaining 103 points on that move. Meanwhile, Vic's trade for Ryan Moore only returned 20 points. Clark's fine play at the end of the year propelled Excal into the money position, just ahead of Vic and the rest of the field. At the time, I questioned the trade but clearly I was wrong.

Best Trade Research: New Tex. While some of you fockers read stories online and do your own kind of research, Tex was out there test-driving his trade. After a round with JG, Tex knew the man was about to turn the corner... new equipment, good attitude, and an ability to pour back some Shiner Bocks. A great combo. Just a few days later, JG would be off and running, shooting his lowest score to date at the Nelson. He never looked back, and neither did Team Tex.

Worst Trade: Johnny V. making a move for Brad Faxon. Seriously? What year did you think this was? In 2007, it takes more than driving the ball 260 yards, erratically. If that was a skill that was useful on Tour, I'd be out there.

Worst Team: This is not about the points... this is about the theory behind the picks. And this award is an easy one. Shades' team was terribly conceived. Let's take a look: Hank Kuehne. Craig Perks. Scott Gutschesksomething. Chris Couch. A trade for Jason Schulz. Ugh. Several of those players made less on Tour than the FPGP winner made this year.

Rookie of the Year: Bimma. Sure, Tev was the only rook to actually win money, but Bimma had a pretty decent squad that pulled in a point total that is historically good. I'm looking for big things from young Timmy for next year.

Biggest Bandwagon: The JG Express! A bunch of us had him, and he was one of the top producers in the pool.

Greatest Dependence On A Pollack: Bandit. Down the stretch, his only real hope to catch Team Tex was if Paul Stankowski had a breakthrough performance. But that was not going to happen. Which reminds me, I need to untie Stankowski and let him out of our garage.

Most Consistently Funny Posts/Comments: Vic. I don't know where the man gets his material, but damn. Good stuff.

Most Twisted Genius: Tev. For the first few months, he was called a genius for shorting Justin Leonard. At the end of the season, with Tev's team faltering, the Texas' Lil' Grinder went nuts and finished high on the money list... the net result being that Tev's squad landed in the Duffer position. So yes, the Leonard short was genius... but not for the reasons some thought back in April.

Best Dump: Tex holding Leonard and dumping DiMarco. This was actually a pretty close call in my mind, and I am lucky that the coin came up "heads".

Best Fan Base: Red Sox Nation. Let's hear it for Tex, JG, MG, Shades, Bimma, and even Da Bandit (hold on tight to the bandwagon). It's pretty easy pulling for the best team, but we still deserve a nod.

Worst Move: The Yankees grabbing Roger Clemens. Yikes.

Biggest Michelle Wie Hater: Shades. I don't think he'll be making any more sidebets that involve her making a cut.

Most Disappointing Team: Team MG/Murph. So much for "inside information." Better luck next year!

Post That Actually Made Shades Look Smart: This one, on Matt Kuchar. If it wasn't for a late season surge by Team Excal, Shades would have hit this one right on the head. Of course, with all of the posts made by Shades, I could have named this the "Blind Squirrel Finds an Acorn Award".

Post That Made Shades Look Like An Idiot: This one, on Bret Wetterich. I particularly like the bold ALL CAPS title. I guess that was for emphasis. Well played. Turns out that didn't matter so much though.

Most Useless Thread: The notion that we'd all get together to play golf. I hate you guys. I officially want nothing to do with organizing this thing... if someone else can get it organized, I'm coming to play... but dealing with all of the "schedule" conflicts and whatnot is too much for my overloaded brain to deal with.

Mime Of The Year: Excal.

Most Disturbing Moment Of The Year: Walking into my living room on the morning of round 2 of The Colonial, to see Excal coming down the stairs in a mime outfit. Seriously, I am still in therapy over this one.

Worst Idea: This one from Stevie V. Yikes. Good thing 'ol JG is a good guy.

Worst Downward Spiral: Rodent. This one stretches back to last year when he traded for Rocco Mediate, starting a collapse that continued right into this year. Robbo may actually be the Roger Clemens of the FPGP. .. the game may have simply passed him by.

Most Convenient Memory: Excal... for forgetting that he owed me $100 from our side bets, and sending a "hey, where is my check???" email for his FPGP winnings. Wanker!!

Most Impressive Streak: (tie) Da Bandit for finishing in the money for the last 5 (!) years in a row. Shades for never finishing in the money. To make things easier next year, I might just ask Shades to send his $100 to Bandit and cut out the middle man.

Team Of The Year: Team Tex baby. A record shattering performance... a team firing on all cylinders all year long... liquid nasty. Not only a record shattering performance, but a team that brought Tex into rarefied air... the land of "multiple FPGP championships." To the best of my knowledge, this is a Club that had only one member before this year... Bandit. The bar has been raised everyone...

FPGPers Unite!!!

Say it loud and say it proud:

60-30-10
60-30-10
60-30-10 .....

For all of the common folk of the FPGP, let's make a statement for fairness and the American, I mean Polish way (sans da Boca Pole). Let's unite for the suggested change from 70-30-10 payout to a 60-30-10 split of the FPGP pot. It's a minor request (just a wafer).

To the Stalins and Machiavellis (selfish f --- ks) in this pool (and you know who you are) go see The Grapes of Wrath, read some writings by Samuel Gompers, sing a line or two from Joe Hill, listen to Huey Long's speehes about his "Share The Wealth" program. Get a conscience, throw the rest of us a bone or two (2nd place finisher anyway) ---

I call on other FPGPers to organize and support the 60-30-10 movement! I know Bimma, from a solid union state, is supportive. Robbo is from Italian heritage where strikes are as common as bowl movements. Johnny V. is a kind, compassionate person who loves to share his fortunes (except when it comes to women).
FPGPers of the world, awaken!

Cobra On Board

JG, I hear you're officially with Team Cobra Golf. Congrats. I hope this was the deal you've been working for since leaving the swoosh guys.


EDIT
This got me thinking this morning, what if the FPGPers were sponsored. Who would sponsor us?

New Tex: Tyson Foods - Chicken Strips Division

Excalibur: Ben Nye Clown Make-up

FINAL UPDATE... ALL HAIL NEW TEX!! HIP HIP, HOORAY!

Put another FPGP season in the books... and what a season it was. Record setting performances, our biggest group of FPGPers yet, and the first ever Due Diligence Trade.

Here is our FINAL update... congratulations to all of the winners (New Tex, Bandit, Excal and Tev) as well as to the rest of you for well... being you.

669 ..... Steve T. / Tex ($959)
476 ..... Da Bandit ($274)
420 ..... Excal ($137)
375 ..... Vic/Talon
333 ..... Johnny V.
327 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
249 ..... Stan the Man
247 ..... Stevie V.
127 ..... Jeff / Shades
71 ..... Murph/MG
50 ..... Krust
-21 ..... Robbo/Buzz
-116 ..... Tev ($100)

Bandit, Excal and Tev... I am going to assume that you are going to apply $100 of your prize money to next year's FPGP... I'll send you checks for the rest ($174 for Bandit, $37 for Excal, and a coupon for a free-roll next year for Tev)... make sure you email me your home addresses so I can send that off.

The bar has definitely been raised... last year, 407 points won this thing, and that was a big year. No one has ever cracked 500 until this year, and I am pretty sure we've never had more than 1 player over 400.

Jeff is allegedly going to make a final update of the sidebar and whatnot... if anyone wants to see the actual spreadsheet, let me know and I will email it to you.

Coming tomorrow... the 2007 FPGP Awards!

Congrats, but this guy always knew you were a winner

Yes, it was back in the early 90's when I first met, a-hum, New Tex. He was an ugly prick with a nasty-to-watch golf swing that was better then his stats skills. And I doubt it's any different today. But I would like to personally let, a-hum, New Tex know how proud I am to see him finally succeed in something...even if it is just this little golf pool. More studying, more stats and less smokin' the weed n'drinking in Five Points and you could have been a real winner. So this will have to do!
RE

For the outsiders on this one, that is New Tex's graduate sponsor Doctor Randy Engle.

The Fat Lady Is Warming Up...

But first she has to finish this cigarette...

It's looking like a mathematical impossibility for New Tex to lose the lead to Da Bandit... even if Joe Duh Duh Durant wins this tourney, he won't climb high enough.

Third place is currently in jeapordy though... We could see one of the great all-time comebacks into cash position if Cameron Beckman can follow up his first round with three more solid performances and wins this thing. That may vault a Vodo into the money.

I'll post the final update Sunday or Monday night.

Addendum

It's official, Melanie (da Rodent's wife) has let him out to play in the Monkey Hill Classic in New Orleans ---

Da Rodent Prepares for the Monkey Hill Golf Classic (this Friday) --- from da Bandit

Penultimate UPDATE

Ok, Ok... this is a golf blog, not a "go suck on this MFY fans" blog... so let's get back to business. With one week to go, here are our standings.

679 ..... Steve T. / Tex
489 ..... Da Bandit
415 ..... Excal
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
380 ..... Vic/Talon
334 ..... Johnny V.
325 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
261 ..... Stan the Man
254 ..... Stevie V.
133 ..... Jeff / Shades
71 ..... Murph/MG
57 ..... Krust
-18 ..... Robbo/Buzz
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
-107 ..... Tev

The fat lady is warming up boys... it would take an epic miracle for anyone to catch me at the top. I think the same applies for Tev in the Duffer position. 2nd and 3rd place still have some sweatin' to do though.

UPDATE

SOX WIN
SOX WIN
SOX WIN

SUCK ON THAT ONE ROBBO! AND DON'T BE TOO PREDICTABLE AND TALK ABOUT 26 CHAMPIONSHIPS!!! JUST TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!

UPDATE 10/22/07

No changes from last week... The top 3 remain the same, the Red Sox are still playing, and the Yankees suck. Pretty much business as usual. Here are the numbahs:

680 ..... Steve T. / Tex
496 ..... Da Bandit
419 ..... Excal
393 ..... Vic/Talon
334 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
333 ..... Johnny V.
272 ..... Stan the Man
268 ..... Stevie V.
133 ..... Jeff / Shades
78 ..... Murph/MG
-5 ..... Krust
-10 ..... Robbo/Buzz
-96 ..... Tev

And yes, I can confirm that Robbo's contribution has been earmarked for Da Bandit, assuming he stays in money position.

UPDATE 10/15/07

No changes in the ordinal rankings this week...

671 ..... Steve T. / Tex
509 ..... Da Bandit
414 ..... Excal
382 ..... Vic/Talon
335 ..... Johnny V.
306 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
282 ..... Stan the Man
273 ..... Stevie V.
130 ..... Jeff / Shades
60 ..... Murph/MG
10 ..... Krust
-5 ..... Robbo/Buzz
-87 ..... Tev

A big old FPGP congratulations to JG this week... with his Top 10 finish in Vegas, the big guy is over the $1 million mark for the first time in his career. He made more than a million combined between the Nationwide and PGA Tour back in 05, but this is the first time he's cracked a cool million on the PGA Tour alone. Well done JG!

Who said the following?

When asked about PGA Tour players using steroids: We call penalties on ourselves. Why would we cheat with something like that? If you want to hit it farther, eat some of the buffets I do.



ANSWER

UPDATE

THE YANKEES SUCK!!!!

Another one-and-done series for the Stanks... well done fellas. By the way, is there some kind of record for most consecutive seasons ending your season with a loss at home in the playoffs? I can't remember how it went down in 2005, but they did choke it up at home this year, last year, 2004 and 2003... I can't remember if the Angels closed them out in Anaheim...

Good times.

Look at the bright side... ARod finally got an RBI! The Yanks are still 6-0 against the Indians in the regular season! Hey, the Yankees almost caught the Red Sox! Yankees fans were able to see Roger Clemens end his storied and dignified career on their home field! This doesn't take anything away from those other 26 Championships you are so proud of!

On the downside, I fear that Rob's kids may grow up in a world where the Yankees never win a championship.

Robbo and Vic... as a sign of friendship and mutual respect, I cordially invite you to join the rest of us in Red Sox Nation. You'll like it... because, well... our team is still playing. Don't be haters! Jump on board the bandwagon, baby!

Oh and Vic... since you felt the need to bring out the "Death Star" earlier in the season... here's a little video tribute for the end of the Yanks' season. Enjoy!

UPDATE 10/7/07... THE JUSTIN LEONORD EFFECT

Fellow FPGERs... at long last, an update. And there are significant changes over our last one, all due to Texas' own 'Lil Grinder, Mr. Justin Leonord. The little bastard has skyrocketed me past Bandit, put Excal into 3rd place, and also buried Tev in the Duffer Position. Amazing stuff. Here are the numbers:

659 .... Steve T. / Tex
514 .... Da Bandit
414 .... Excal
390 .... Vic/Talon
307 .... Johnny V.
286 .... Timmy D. / Bimma
282 .... Stan the Man
268 .... Stevie V.
129 .... Jeff / Shades
49 .... Murph/MG
12 .... Krust
3 .... Robbo/Buzz
-90 .... Tev

Now that we have a good battle for a money position (3rd place), I'll try to post each week...

I Am A Bad Commish

Sorry for the lack of updates... I've been busy and it doesn't seem like any FPGP players want to do anything, so I've not wasted my time with updates. I will try to put one up on Monday though... we have a month left, and anything can happen.

If Paul Stankowski actually does something constructive, there may be a Polack on Polack crime in the Dallas - Ft. Worth area.

Sad Day for Joel

Sadly, one of Joel's idols -- Marcel Marceau, has passed away.

Just Say No... tah Signs With Turning Stone Resort

FULL STORY

Unfortunately for J.S.No...tah, Turning Stone is an alcohol-free casino.

Originally, I posted a picture of the crying Indian from that 70s PSA on pollution... but even for me, it seemed over the top.

No Update

Seems pointless this week... I'll try to get one out next week.

Yawn

Tiger is leading the Tour Championship.

This is exciting.

I almost can't handle the drama of the Fed Ex Cup Playoffs.

Perhaps I should take a Xanax or something.

I'd hate to have a heart attack and/or stroke from all of the excitement.

Coming Soon To An Internet Near You

OFF TOPIC: Huntington's Disease

I realize that this is off-topic and apologize, but I have to ask.

My sister-in-law's sister (Sandy Trudeau) is dying from a disease called Huntington's Disease. There is no cure but that doesn't mean one can't be found. My sister-in-law is taking part in an awareness walk in New Hampshire this weekend to help raise money for research into a cure for Huntington's Disease. I ask that you read her story about Sandy and if would, please donate whatever amount you feel comfortable with...$1, $5, $20. I donated $25 and hope you will consider a donation and to learn about Huntington's Disease. I am only asking because I know how much this is tearing up my sister-in-law. If I really wanted to be beg, I'd be asking y'all to buy magazines and wrapping paper for my kid's school. I hate that stuff.

Thanks FPGPers.

Shades

UPDATE 9/10/07

At long last, your update... and what a shock, there have been no changes (in ordinal rankings) since the last one.


610 ..... Steve T. / Tex
552 ..... Da Bandit
403 ..... Vic / Talon
366 ..... Excal
319 ..... Johnny V.
303 ..... Stan the Man
302 ..... Stevie V.
236 ..... Timmy/ Bimma
140 ..... Jeff / Shades
31 ..... Murph/MG
23 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-8 ..... Tev
-43 ..... Krust

Rodent news

Da Bandit is here in Pensacola and we played two rounds of golf, sans da Rodent. Despite seeing numerous mole holes, there were no rats in sight. So, Robbo was a no-show and saved himself from the humiliation of losing -- although the decision was made that he forfeited both matches.

Also, da Rodent was apparently in the same high school math class as Boo Weekley. After feeling queasy -- perhaps because we have a new outdoor cat who brought us a small rat a few days ago -- Buzz told my wife that he was surprised since he only had 3 glasses of wine (Booooooooo). The official scorer had the count at 8. So, Rob was DQed for the evening and sent straight to bed and has enrolled in Arithmetic Anonymous.

Good News, Bad News...

Bad news first... I played like I was on the Craig Perks' All-Star team yesterday. A miserable 80, that frankly could have been much worse. The good news... the course was set up so ridiculously tough that the leader came in at 75*. The better news is that only 3 other people broke 80. So, despite playing like a dog, I still have a slugger's chance in this thing. The funny thing is that I am more mad knowing that 75 was leading than if someone shot 70. I think of the two short putts I lipped out, the two balls I had to play sideways, etc. Lots of pissed away strokes. Oh well... I got good and drunk and watched the Cocks beat Georgia, so the day wasn't completely lost...


* There are 18 guys in the "championship" flight... all with 5 handicaps or better. And only 4 rounds in the 70s. Yeah, it was a bit ridiculous out there. One poor bastard shot 95 net 95.

Club Championship...

FPGPers... let's take some of those positive vibes you like to send JG, and send them my way... club championship this week here in Texas. I'm playing in the Championship flight, which is nice because everyone has to play scratch... no sandbagging 7-handicapper can shoot two 74s and win it... I'm currently a 1.6, so playing scratch won't kill me... I think there may be a couple + guys out there though. Anyone want to fly into Dallas and do a Gillooly for me?

Send me some positive vibes you bastards!

In other news, the Yankees suck.

Hey Phil. Your job requires travel.

Did Phil Mickelson just wake up and look at the PGA Tour schedule. Sure it's changed a bit over the years, but I think I've read where they have tried to make the tournaments more "travel friendly". By that I mean, they try to keep events in one region of the country for a few weeks, then on to the next region for a few weeks. Now if you are Phil and live in California, chances are that most weeks are going to be away from home. Some real far away from home. But did he not realize this when he joined the PGA Tour. It's not the PAC 10 golf schedule, it's the PGA Tour. So when I read that Phil didn't like the schedule for the playoffs because he missed his kids first day of school, I thought that was disappointing, but don't blame the PGA Tour schedule. The PGA Tour has moved around, city-to-city, like the circus, since long before you and I were kids. And Phil, you have a simple choice to make. Either play or don't play. You either have the opportunity to win more money or don't. It's not up to Tim Finchem to make sure the events are near your house.

UPDATE

I will try to get an update done tonite... it turns out that every one of my clients all have pressing needs today, so I can't goof off. Damnit.

In the meantime, here's another update:

Yanks 7 games behind Sox.
Sox' magic number is 18.

PGA Tour to drug test in 2008

JG if you start looking more like my size in the coming year, we will know what was up. Your leg probably weighs as much as I do, but we know that currently under your shirt you look like the guy pictured above.

Yankee Trash Talk Here

Just in case Robbo didn't know how to start a post, I figured I'd give him (and vic) some space to comment on the greatness of the Yankees. Sure, they're a game worse in the standings than when we started this fun, but they did sweep the Sox... so have at it boys.

Sidbar?

Hey Shades... when you get a break from your busy schedule, can you look at the template for the blog? Not sure why, but the sidebar is being buried at the bottom of the page.

Kind of like the way I'd like to bury J.D. Drew.

Updates

Sorry gang... I continue to be buried... I don't think there is much movement with these limitted field events anyway, but I'll try to get one up on Monday night nonetheless. Going to be out of town after that, so if it isn't up Monday, you'll have to wait another couple weeks.

I took down that Mora audio... I think it was messing with the sidebar.

What, No Chirping?

Robbo and Vic... what's up? Kind of quiet out there the last couple days... you guys only get excited about the Stankees when they win a game or two?

Those Angels are sons of bitches, no?

The New Evil Empire...

Given the recent futility of the Yanks in the post season, and hell... regular season this year... this may be a more apt illustration of the so-called Evil Empire.





Or maybe this works better?




Talon... May the Schwartz Be With You

UPDATE 8/19/07

A rare Sunday night update for you... I have to go out of town tomorrow morning, and didn't want to leave anyone hanging. The lengths I go...

Anyway, no real changes since the last update... my lead over Bandit is a little bigger, but in terms of ordinal rankings... not much. Going into the Fed Ex Playoffs, here's where we all stand...


639 ..... Steve T. / Tex
564 ..... Da Bandit
423 ..... Vic / Talon
339 ..... Excal
307 ..... Johnny V.
306 ..... Stan the Man
291 ..... Stevie V.
243 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
130 ..... Jeff / Shades
35 ..... Murph/MG
18 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-30 ..... Tev
-81 ..... Krust

Can You Hear the Theme Music?

Four games back...The Empire Might Strike Back...don don da da! What can you say, we are you daddies.

WTF?

Who does a guy have to blow around here to get some CBS coverage of JG? I've watched a good bit today and haven't seen a single shot. Meanwhile, Kevin Stadler's round was being covered like his first name was Eldrick. Oddly, JG and Stadler were tied at -17 as I type this... Stadler finished with a 66 and JG was -5 on his round.

What gives? Is Kevin Stadler more interesting because his dad was a great player? They just said on the broadcast that if a player finishes in the top 86 on the FedEx list after this tourney, they are a mathematical lock to get into the first two playoff events. Hello? Our boy is 93rd and with a good finish can move into the top 86. Isn't that a neat little story? Can't something be made about the "Prince of Pinehurst" (sorry... had to) having a nice run at another NC venue? None of this occured to the producers in the CBS production trailer?

Like Dude. I made the cut man.

Someone buy this guy a cup of coffee. How about a coke or something else to wake you up? This guy leads the Greater Wyndham Greensboro Open Championship?

Nice Catch!

Year of the Rat?

Da Rodent wins in the closest event yet in the challenge. None of his four players collapsed and in combination with Els' 66 he held on at 1129; talonflier was second at 1138; Voodoo finished third with 1139; and Boca was tail end charlie with a 1167 total. Voodoo wins the season share and $80 + $40@ for the events he won for $160. Da Rodent won twice for $80, so he is essentially a push. Boca and I, the losers that we are, will render $80@ to the Champion and F U!

No Update This Week

Buried at work again... plus, I don't think there were any big movers that would make a real difference.

We'll get an update done after the Greensboro tourney.

ANOTHER CRUSHING BLOW DEALT TO EXCAL!!

Another major, another triumph for Team New Tex. Despite the hubris that lead to picking John Rollins with his 5th selection, New Tex dealt Excal yet another crushing defeat... here's how it stacked up:

There were two pushes, so their money doesn't matter...

Harrington and the Lil Grinder (Toms) push at +8
Rose and Choo Choo push at +2

That left Tex with Verplank who pocketted the sweet sum of $170,333.

Excal's remaining "players" were Stricker ($51,000) and Cink Sank Sunk ($34,750). That left the former commish about $90,000 short.

Justice.

That makes the score 3-1 in favor of New Tex, so Excal has to cough up an even hundo.

Nice doing business with ya. You can paypal the money, or just add it to your FPGP entry next season... I know you're good for it.

Another One Too Close To Call...

My bet with Excal is too close to call right now... here's how it stands.

Harrington and the Lil Grinder (Toms) push at +8
Rose and Choo Choo push at +2

That leaves me with Verplank at +1 and T10 currently, and him with Stricker +5 (T23) and Cink +6 (T32) currently.

It's going to be very close...

Zombie of DiVincenzo Turns on Voodoo

Oh the humanity! Voodoo was cruising to a threepeat and the season title when Seeeergio DQs at the PGA yesterday. Apparently that lovable Milton HS graduate, Boo Weekly, never really grasped the whole ordinal numbers thing and set up Garcia by marking down a 4 that was really a 5 (Democrats are calling for a special prosecutor and will question Gonzalez on this). The collateral damage also ended Boca's last hopes for a win and left both FPGPers short of four players forcing the application of the High 3 (avg of 3 highest pro scores) rule. Voodoo's other selections have been so strong he absorbed the Rd 3 score (79) and still holds the narrowest of leads at 849. Da Rodent is nipping his heels at 850 and has 4 players and no room for error. Talonflier has five players eligible and is within range at 856. Boca is along for the ride at 867. Rob appears in the driver's seat, but one bad score...or WD...or DQ...and I am right there. This will be the closest result yet so here is the tiebreaker refresh (Voodoo/-6; da Rodent/-3; Talonflier/-9).

????????????


I'm in the Atlanta airport and just saw that the f ---ing choking hothead Sergio was DQed!!! I CAN'T WAINT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED. Not only has he cost me and da Bandit in the side bet but this spanish flea will never win a major. And you guys thought that Rory was embarrasing.

To Paraphrase The Movie "Airplane"...

STRICKER!!!... YOU'RE TOO LOW DAMNIT!!!!

This guy is going to give me a heart attack... should have missed the cut, now he is en fuego.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

62.5!!!

HOW THE HELL DID THAT PUTT MISS?????

Saying Tiger "flirted" with 62 is a bit inaccurate... it seems like he had his hand up the skirt of 62. Wow.

OK, Scottie V... no pressure tomorrow... Just play your wonderful game, and don't worry about Tiger.

Round One Fun

Pretty tight pack at Southern Hills and the scoreboard in the challenge reflects it. Boca is on top by one with a 284 (but has 2/6 with 80+ scores as cut bait); Voodoo and Talonflier are just behind at 285; and da Rodent is just back at 287.

Hey Sean O'Hair...

Eddie Munster just called... he wants his hair style back.

PGA Early Report...

Excal and I suck!

Four guys on the course in the morning (Cink, Stricker, Choi, and Furyk) and they are combined 12 over par. Furyk is playing like Craig Perks... I guess that injury was worse than I thought. Damn.

Excal, what happens if none of our guys make the cut? Is that a draw?

The Picks Are In

The last chapter of the challenge has Voodoo in the season lead at 3473, Talonflier at 3505, Boca at 3509, and da Rodent at 3530. Voodoo has selected his stable for Southern Hills as Singh, Choi, Clark, Els, Scott, and Seeeeergio with a winning score predicted at -6. Talonflier will go with Cink, Mahan, Singh, Goosen, Choi, and Donald with -9 winning the tourney. Boca chimed in with Clark, Garcia, Zach Johnson, Cabrera, Verplank, and Rose and has -8 as the winner's total. The Rodent has selected his horses as Scott, Els, Singh, Michelson, Goosen, and Cabrera and thinks the winning hack cannot make it around better than -3. Good luck ladies!

NFL POOL

If any of you degenerates are interested in a cheap/fun NFL pool, let me know. I have a friend of a friend running one (all online) for $100 (for the season). The game is to pick each NFL game, straight up (no line). Weekly and season winners are paid off...

Let me know if you are interested, and I'll forward along the email to you.

Majors Challenge Part IV: The Voodoo Legend

OK, let's not work the brinksmanship angle on this one, and you know who you are (da Rodent). I need your team of six sans el Tigre and your projection for the winning score relative to par. You have until Wed at 2359 hrs.

Sabbatini is an Ass and Hypocrite

By now, everyone out there probably knows that Sabbatini had a fan booted on the 9th hole yesterday, when he asked "do you still think Tiger is beatable?" Come one... lighten the fuck up.

As if that isn't bad enough, this was Sabbatini's comment about the "incident."

``We're out here to do our job - let us do our job,'' Sabbatini said later. ``Have a little bit of decorum, a little bit of class out there. I guess a few too many beers were talking.''

"Class", "decorum" and "Sabbatini" have no business colliding in the same paragraph. When I was at The Colonial in May, I saw him have a complete hissy fit when he missed a short birdie putt on the 2nd (his 11th) hole. The ball lipped out, and he made a violent gesture with his putter, uttered some "fucks" and started crying like Sergio Garcia to his caddy... something along the lines of "how many fucking putts am I going to lip out this month?" Seriously... I was right there on the left side of the green with a left pin placement... it was clear as day. It was also early so there were not that many people around to hear it... I am sure the little Napolean Complex does this all the time. What a little dick.

If you want to get mad and upset... whatever. But what a prick for tossing a guy who simply busted his balls/called him out. Again, this is the shit that makes professional golfers look like a bunch of prima donas. In what other major sport can you get tossed for something like that? Hell, Yankee Stadium would be empty for every game if baseball players were this sensitive!

When Sabbatini first called out Tiger, I thought "it's about time someone did... good for him!" Now, I hope Tiger continues to bury the little prick.

PGA Side Bet

Same rules as always, Excal...

1. No Tiger.
2. Team earning the most money gets $50.
3. Picking the Winner... $50.

You're down $50 going into this one...

Picks are in the comment section. I go first.
--------------------------

The Teams are in... here they are:

New Tex: Furyk, Harrington, Verplank, Rose, Rollins

Excal: Choi, Stricker, Toms, T. Clark, Cink

UPDATE 8/6/07

Thanks for your update patience last week...

Here's this week's update. No real movement, other than Stan the Man and Johnny V. swapping 5th and 6th place.

630 ..... Steve T. / Tex
576 ..... Da Bandit
441 ..... Vic / Talon
359 ..... Excal
357 ..... Stan the Man
311 ..... Johnny V.
246 ..... Stevie V.
213 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
147 ..... Jeff / Shades
35 ..... Murph/MG
11 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-47 ..... Tev
-65 ..... Krust

So... This Is What It Feels Like To Be Craig Perks...

This will mark the first weekend since February that I am not going to play golf in some form or another... I have to go out of town for a wedding.

It's weird, the no golf on the weekend... I kinda feel like I am one of Shades' FPGP picks!