Senden Da Bandit Up The Money List

John Senden's victory today puts Da Bandit in a position he knows well in the FPGP. Yes, the career leading money leader of our pool is once again in "cash position," replacing Johnny V. in 3rd place... this move shakes up the top 3 for the first time in months. Moreover, only 13 points now separate first from 3rd... had Da Bandit not dumped Alex Cejka, he'd be alone in first by about 40 points.

When I calculated the points, I thought I made a typo, but the totals are correct. Tex/Shades are tied, as are Stan and Vic.



Also, Jeff/Shades put up a "side bet summary" on the sidebar for us... it is just a little summary I've made to keep track of the side action that is generating. The way to read it is DOWN columns.

Eagle Sightings

JG puts up 3 back nine eagles on Sunday. EXCELLENT work JG!!!!!!! Your 2nd shot on 17 took a very nice hop and roll. Tough (expensive) break on 18, but hey, another great tournament for you and don't let 18 get you down. 3 EAGLES for god sake.

Standings Shakeup

Could be a TON of movement after this week's tourney. John Senden, currently leading (and running away a bit) can be found on Da Bandit's team, and only his. Trashcan is currently T11, and if he can avoid a meltdown, should give me a bunch of points. Same for Jumpin Jeff who is riding the Justin "Every Rose Has A Thorn, and Mine Is My Putting." JG, held by a few people is also crawling up the board.

It's also possible that Da Bandit may have one of those "bitter sweet" days, as Alex Cejka is climbing into the top 3... Da Bandit had Cejka but dumped him for Chris Smith right at the deadline. It looks like had Da Bandit stood pat on the trade deadline, he'd vault into or very near the lead today (assuming the leaderboard holds).

GORE GIRLS

Sorry MG but apparently your man now has a cult following that has manifested itself in the formation of an all-girl, Detroit-based band. Motivated by the stellar play of Jason Gore last year, the girls sought to combine the musical genres of Motown and Garage Rock to create a sound in the mold of Gore's golf game.. gritty, homegrown, and at times out of bounds. Amy, Marlene, and Mayuko merge the long driving back beat with the flitty lyrics of a lob shot round after round with few bogeys. Their hits include, Oscar Brown, EZGoes It, Meet Me in the Lumber Yard Danny, and Immovable Obstruction Leads to Combustion. Their sensory shocking on stage perfomance is coming to a venue near you with their latest releases, Elbow Blues, Just Say No to the Ho-Ho, Back on Track, and Fantasy Losers.

WD for Wie

WD for Wie (with an apparent medical condition)!!! Had to be given an IV, put on a stretcher, and was zipped away in an ambulance.

Is this blog on the cusp of things or what with the recent WD discussion! At any rate, are my 2 competitors going to take money as a result of a poor little girl's illness??? Yeah, I know the bet was a done deal before this but ..... okay I'll send the stinkin' money.

WITHDRAWAL

This week it is Jonathan Kaye and Steve Lowery.

Jonathan Kaye had withdrawn from the Bay Hill Classic, back in Feb., with a bad hip. Not sure what it was this week, but likely he realized just making par wasn't going to be good enough with the projected cut at -2.

Steve Lowery withdrew from the John Deere Classic midway through his 1st round. As another blog put it, "You've got to give Michelle Wie credit. With six bogeys on her scorecard for round one, the Big Wiesy is still in the game. Even Steve Lowery knew when to quit." Lowery was +2 thru 12.

Then there is Mike Sposa who threw up a 78 and was DQ'd.

I'd love to report why these guys WD'd or were DQ'd, but apparently sports writers would rather focus on the female player who "took a spot away from another player" than report on the guy(s) who didn't show, didn't finish, or showed and did something stupid to get DQ'd. It's tough enough for professional players without their tour cards to get into these tournaments and compete, but there should be some sort of penalty on players for DQ's. If your hurt, that's fine, but I can't see many of these players play one week, DQ the next and then are fine the following week. JG, you had a WD this year. What are your thoughts on this. As for the FPGP, I think we need to have a penalty that hits an FPGPer when one of our picks WD's. Say -10 points per WD.

Who will win the John Deere Classic?

2008 Golf World Interview With JG

Johnny Miller sat down to interview the world's #1 golfer last week, and here's what he had to say...

Johnny Miller: JG, the success you've had over the past couple years has been unprecedented... #1 on the PGA Tour Money List in 2007; Winner of 9 tournaments including the U.S. Open, Masters and PGA; currently the #2 golfer in the world. What do you owe this success to?

JG: Yeah Johnny, it's been a helluva ride. It really all started back in July 06 when I started commenting on the FPGP.

Miller: FPGP?

JG: Yeah, it is a bunch of anonymous chuckleheads who wager on pro golf. Turns out some of them took me and were frustrated at my performance. They turned to immature name-calling, but it was all in good fun.

Miller: What did they call you?

JG: That's really not important... what is important is that after chatting with these guys a bit, I started to feel what is called the "FPGP MOJO." Suddenly, I felt like I could win every tourney I entered. The hole started looking like a basketball hoop...

Miller: That is pretty amazing.

JG: Yeah, it is. Anyway, my success seems to come from this "FPGP MOJO." I have no other way to describe my change in fortunes, so to speak.

Miller: Can any of these guys play?

JG: That seems to be the irony; they all talk the talk, but if you put the best four on a scramble team, they'd barely break 80.

Miller: Interesting... so a bunch of clowns inspired you to rise to the top of the golf world.

JG: It sure seems that way.

Monkey

Monkey Hate Wie!

Counting Some Chickens

Well, I think MG and I are in pretty good shape in our "Trashcan versus Wie" wager against Shades and Stevie V. Poor little Michelle... word of the bet must have made it to her, and she (again) succumbed to the pressure. A 77 on a not so hard course... currently only "beating" Bob May... Meanwhile, our favorite Clemson Tiger gritted out a nifty 69... way to go Trashcan... if you can just finish on the money list where you started, I am going to get paid this year.

JG the "Prince of Pinehurst"?

JG, I had forgotten about that nickname until I stumbled on this while looking for a "Trashcan" Trahan story.

JG, aka "Prince of Pinehurst" and aka "John Daly without the issues". I love that second one.

FPGP DREAM PAIRING

12:38 CT, starting on the 10th tee... JG is playing with David Duval (and Kirk "yawn" Triplett). JG and Duval are the two most talked about players in the FPGP this year, and thus far those with Duval (+117) have fared better than those with JG (-25), but JG seem to be riding the FPGP Mojo Train.

I hesitate to make a wager on this... because I have no faith in Duval, and I have gained a lot of respect for JG... so, I'll toss it out as a purely academic question. What kind of odds can I get with a Duval v. JG wager? Clearly, JG would be the favorite... so I wouldn't take this even money, without strokes. So, either proper odds or proper strokes... where do you guys see this falling?

I also see that David "I fucked Steve T. over royally last year" Gossett is in the field. Grrrrrr. Anyone who has an FPGP Rule named after them ("The Gossett Corollary") should really just turn in his Tour Card, and start peddling Titleists at the local Country Club.

With regard to the Wie/Trashcan bets, I think you Wie people are in big trouble. Looks like the PGA Tour was hoping to boost USA's ratings, as they have her going out in the second to last group on Friday, on the #1 tee... so she will conveniently be making the turn right around the beginning of the broadcast. I know two things:

1. Afternoon tourney rounds are tougher than morning rounds... more spike marks, dryer/hotter conditions, tends to be more windy.

2. Wie shrinks under pressure.

My guess is that Wie is going to shoot some number like 71-75. If Trashcan can't handle that, well, MG and I deserve to lose $20.

Vic/Talon, I take it you got no action on your Perez offer?

It's On!

In this corner, hailing from the great state of Georgia... former Clemson University All-American... D.... J.... Trashcan!
And in this corner... hailing from Hawaii... arguably the most over-rated figure in sports (unless you are talking about her figure... "hubba hubba" says the dirty old man). Michelle "I want to play with the boys even though I can't beat the girls" Wieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

The wager... $10 for lowest 36 hole score. Currently, the bet is between Stevie T. and Stevie V., but I will be happy to take that action from anyone.

We really should have an "FPGP Penalty" rule here, where anyone who has a player that is beaten by Michelle Wie is penalized an additional 10 points or something. Personally, I have grown very tired of this fucking side-show. This "woman" has never beaten anyone in any significant event, other than the Women's Publinks, which she won at 13. What has she done since then? Sure, she is talented... but she has shown a remarkable lack of heart... Given the way she putts (particularly late) I bet Jeff's boyfriend Sergio would love to have her on the regular tour so he could move up an ordinal position in the rankings. Meanwhile, there is a male player who is deserving of a spot who will be the first alternate not to make the field. What an injustice.

I would love to hear JG's perspective on this, but clearly he should not comment on the blog on this controversial issue.

Greg Owen lives!

Well it's not the PGA Tour, so the $$ won't count, but it's good to know he is still alive.

Justice will be served, Greg Owen believes, when he makes his return to the Open Championship next week.

The 34-year-old Englishman will make his first appearance in Europe in the last 12 months when he tees off in the Barclays Scottish Open at Loch Lomond on Thursday. But since he was kept out of the Open Championship in hugely controversial fashion last summer and missed out on the first two majors of this season as well, Owen's mind is already turning to Royal Liverpool. FULL STORY RE: The Greatest FPGP Trade In History

Vegas Golf

September 1-4 will be a three-day golf outing in Las Vegas for me and some guys going to my bachelor party... if anyone is interested in coming out and playing with some FPGPers (me, Jeff, Tiger Philp), let me know so we can adjust our tee-times.

The Sun Devil Skyrocket

I'll put $20 out that Pat Perez (if he's playing) will explode for at least one round over 76 in Moline. This boy is as lively as a "green zone" market on Friday ni...hell about any time. I dub him TNP, it's TNP, it's dy-no-mite (insert funky music). A round with TNP is like watching WWE pay-per-view (no I have not) 'cept they hit the balls with clubs not chairs and knees. Who among you will write this knot of xmas tree lights a wartime dosage script for Xanax or Ativan? Any takers on TNP holding it together for 72 holes?

Sergio Garcia - Doctored Photo?

Here is a sight you don't see much. Well it happens 18 times per round, but takes about 3 tries first.

Putting Average - 160th
Putts Per Round - 178th

Post Cialis Update

This may be the year that we finally see a person lose the FPGP because they made a really bad trade... the Mediate for Singh move made by Robbo is really looking terrible right now.

JG's performance helped close the gap a bit this week and our defending champ is now right on da rodent's heels...

JG Shines in Chicago

A well-deserved round of applause for JG and his -8 (T10) at the Western!!! Way to go! For those of you who didn't pick him, watch out. The year is still young.

Every Rose has it's thorns

But this Rose had a great round in the AM on Saturday and is in the hunt to win some nice $$.

Justin Rose Score Cards

67 For JG!!!

Nice round dude... when I saw that double come up that put you to even, I thought... uh oh. That is a STRONG finish... very impressed.

DJ Trashcan

Well, DJ is doing it to me again. This guy runs from cut lines like Jeff runs from a real day's work. Unbelievable. I thought players scored BETTER in the morning, when the greens are soft and not spiked up...

There must be a big IPTAY event this weekend that he can't miss. If I ever pick another Clemson player again, feel free to remove me of my duties as commish/accountant... I have clearly lost my fucking mind.

Checks Deposited

I finally remembered to take the trade checks to be deposited... sorry for the delay.

After subtracting out administrative costs, such as time spent working on updates, server space from Jeff, etc., I am happy to announce that our prize pool this year will be $3.18, with $2.42 going to the winner.

Nice Heart JG

For those FPGPers who are not sitting in front a computer all morning, JG got off to a tough start this a.m., bogeying his 2nd and 3rd holes. Looks like he hung in pretty strong though, as he birdied 2 of the last 3 holes to come in -1 for the round. Given the huge pressure of performing with his new fan base, we at FPGP Central can understand the shaky start... and are even more impressed with the strong finish.

:-)

DiMarco withdraws from Cialis Western Open

Normally, I like to rip a guy for WD in a tournament, especially without giving a reason, but I thought this was something to note.

FULL STORY
Chris DiMarco withdrew from the Cialis Western Open on Tuesday evening due to the passing of his mother, Norma. She suffered an apparent heart attack just after arriving in Colorado for vacation on Tuesday.

Western Open

Is anyone else at least midly uncomfortable that the sponsor for this event is Cialis?
My recollection is that the Western Open is one of the top-tier events, and such notables like Tiger and Phil play in it... yet, J.B. Holmes is not in the field. Coincidence? I think not. Here is a guy with the same name as porn legend "Long John" Holmes, and he is skipping the Cialis event...

On the other hand, the Johnsons, Zack and Richard/Dick, are in the field.

Oh, I made a new and permanent change to the sidebar... you will note that you can track JG's progress by clicking on the "JG'S SCORECARD" link. I am also putting that link HERE. Go gettem' JG... no need to go soft at this tourney!

1st FPGP Poll

Vegas Baby!

As Jeff and Tiger/Excalibur know, I am having my bachelor party in Vegas over Labor Day Weekend. There will be a decent number of guys coming out for it, some of who are golfers... at least in the most liberal sense of the word. I've been to Vegas a bunch, but never packed the sticks as I was far more interested in the blackjack pit and poker room.

Does anyone have a suggestion for a decent track for us to play? I was hoping the TPC Summerlin was a daily fee course, but it is private... bummer.

Also, we have talked on several occasions about having an FPGP golf outing... I hereby invite any and all FPGPers to Vegas for the weekend... I have no real agenda, other than to play a lot of cards and golf on Sunday, so if you are free and can swing it (pun intended) hop on a plane and let's tee it up. If there is enough interest in golf, we'll set up a little tourney deal based on handicaps... maybe a 2 man scramble format or something like that. You're invited too JG, but I expect you'll be busy making your way up the leader board in Norton MA that day.

UPDATE 7/3/06

Well, this pool is getting tighter than a U.S. Open fairway... only Fraser is clearly out of the money hunt right now, but he could still catch lightening in a bottle. Multiple FPGP winners "Bandit" and "Stevie T." are making their mid-season move, and at this point Robbo can only hope to hold on... he's four good Bart Bryant rounds (uh, consecutively...) from falling right back into the pack with Stevie V. Here are the standings...

Hope all you academic types and professional golfers are enjoying a day off today... some of us suckers in the corporate world actually have to work.

Hey JG! Time to Roid and Wrap Up

Time to offer some sarcastic, unsolicited advice to our gracious, girthy guest of the greens (alliteration boys). The reason for steroids prevelance is simply because it works. The best healing accelerant in the universe for a damaged body. Don't sweat the bitch tit, the organ damage, the shrinking grapes, rapid mood swings, cancer risks, acne, or other minor inconveniences--they are either temporary or fatal. Hell, opportunity only knocks once. I'd be on the juice before you could say BALCO if I had the talent to win a PGA event. I just analyzed my likely points total and I need you back on track. So what do you say JG, take one for my FPGP team...or actually take about three shots daily in a major muscle group. I'm willing to risk it. Motrin and a carpal tunnel brace won't cut it here, time is of the essence. At a minimum consider HGH and andro, it only stings for a minute or two. Be a pro and ask yourself just one question...cream or clear?

Wow, an atheist (really!), and member of the ACLU and People for the American Way (seperation of Church and State folks) gets blasted for posting a confession picture! I guess my decision to pull my earlier pic of Father "lap taffy" O'Brien banging young Billy, the new alter boy, was a good oneI Let's be careful not to ban too much stuff on the blog or it'll stop being fun.

Piling on (pun intended) to JG's Memorial memory, I propose a new feature...BEST PRACTICAL JOKES survey. In JG's case I believe that hole turds are covered in Rule 25c, ball lost in an abnormal ground condition or perhaps you could get relief (apparently someone did) from a loaf made by a burrowing animal exception. We had a similar incident at a special ops exercise at an old RAF base. Jammed up in circa-1940 dorms for three weeks, flying every freakin day, and oh God, the unending rain/fog finally drove someone to transform their normal persona into the the "mad shitter" at night. Night after night fecal masterpieces would show up in the most inconvenient places, bathroom sinks, planning tables, etc... And like serial killers, the donations would escalate to riskier and riskier targets to enhance the self-satisfaction of "the mad shitter." Next came the ops officer's desk which initiated THE MAN coming down with down the heat. Undeterred by curfews, posted sentries, and threat of punishment...the "mad shitter (MS)" went on a bio-rampage. MS must have upped the fiber or began a Mansonesque-cult because the production was at superhuman levels. The CO actually tried to have the specimens analyzed for content to try and match diet patterns to the offender. Clues and demands began to appear on these fecal flounders which threatened continued and more personal attacks if drinking privileges (it was a dry exercise) were not restored and a down day provided (no flying). Morale was at an all time high, though no none ventured out to the latrine at night in fear of tripping on MS handiwork or being accused of the art. Long story short, they gave into the pie-making terrorist and drinking was restored. Full amnesty was offered at endex if he would unveil himself and...the "mad shitter" was in fact not a he, but a she. MS was a female crew chief (maintenance) on MH53s (AFSOC helicopter) who, because of our male chauvinist proclivities moved about us--- crapping at will---without even being considered a suspect. She immediately had a dozen date proposals and was elevated to the title of exercise MVP (yes, most valuable pooper). I am sure your wives will appreciate how our piggish ways left us vulnerable to manipulation and defeat.

JJ Henry

What has become of the PGA tour when Tiger misses a cut at the Open and JJ Henry leads an event going into the final day. Henry shot 8-under on Sat. I get the that a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes, but JJ Henry? Listen to some of the event on the PGA Tour Radio broadcast on XM Radio (that's another story).. it sounded as this guy made every putt he had. Most were from way-down-town, call "bank", shots er putts.

Is this a Nationwide tour event acting as a PGA tour event? I miss the GHO. That was a good tournament. This one, not so good.

Guilty

Let me offer my belated mea culpa to JG. I would have done so last night but I followed the advice of da Rodent (a clinical psychologist with a supposed specialization in the area of addictions) by refilling my wine glass before it was empty to avoid drinking too much. This “system” doesn’t work!

Yes, I’m guilty of being the author of a few barbs on this blog (sic). After reading the recent posts, I’m reminded of Jack Nicholson’s “Don’t I feel like the f ---- ing asshole!” and Bogart’s “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, …“

I sure as hell hope that Bart Bryant doesn’t read this site!

JG (and MG), thanks for being such good sports and good luck the rest of the season. Since you’re one of my picks I have a selfish interest in your welfare, but I mean it!!!

DJ Trahan

So the New Texan (Stevie T) started getting excited about one of his picks on Fri. (6/30). You see, his only pick to be in negative points is D.J. Trahan and he was on top of the leaderboard after the second day at -5. He [Trahan] was T51 in putting and made 100% of his sand saves. Having made only his 5th cut in 19 tries, and only 3 strokes back going into the weekend, the New Texan is seeing the fortunes of one of his players change. But I have to show him the reality...

Greens in Regulation Pct. 61.2% 159th
Putting Average 1.803 135th
Round 3 Scoring Avg. 73.50 178th
Final Round Scoring Average 72.00 99th

...not the feal good numbers you would want to see (Trahan 2006 stats).

While the only way he doesn't make a penny this weekend if is he WD's, but I would wager that won't finish in the top 15 and his winnings will be less-than-excitable for FPGPers with him.

Our Favorite Tour Player Is...

ya just gotta love the guy... read below...

i know not everyone in the pool checks in religiously, but take a look down a few posts and see... tuns out Jason has a great sense of humor and doesn't mind when a bunch of hacks make fun of him... kinda seems like the kind of guy you could hang out with, maybe have a beer or two, a hotdog or two, and lose a few bucks to along the line but smile all along.

Congrats Jason... you just increased your fan base by about 5 people... :-) Keep checking in... we want your (or your wife's) picks for next year's pool.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye... NEW BLOG RULE.

While we at FPGP Central Command do not believe in censorship, I think we need to cool it with the ButterTits comments here. Start with my "Welcome to the blog... Jason Gore" post and all the comments, and work you way back up to this one. Be sure to follow the URLs that are posted and look at the pictures. You will be convinced that our blog has been visited by The Gores, Jason and Megan. If you don't want to read all of it, I leave you with this picture of our commenter holding up the actual trophy JG won last year on Tour... I can't see this being faked, particularly as fast as she put it up after I suggested it. Click HERE for the photo.

Although we know this is all in fun, and the Gores are REMARKABLY cool about all of this poking fun, it doesn't seem right to be as nasty as we are if they are surfing the blog. Hell, Mrs. Gore may even join the damn pool next year, so let's be nice and take her money! :-)

I am all about making obnoxious commentaries and having fun... but let's keep the stuff to flesh wounds, not daggers to the heart. Honestly, it will be a lot more fun from me to have a PGA Tour Professional visit the blog from time to time, maybe drop a comment, give us some insight into life on the Tour, etc., than for us to just be stupid for our own amusement.

Sorry JG!

I'm conviced it is Jason and his wife that have blogged here. He seems to be the bigger "no offense" man here. For the trash talk we have put on him, he seems to be a cool guy, with an cool wife. I'm sure I've written a few things, and for that I appologize. I hope you can understand it was just fun amongst the guys in the FPGP and not really a personal thing.

Hittem' long and straight, except for the doglegs.

-Shades aka "Jumpin' Jeff"

Now Serving... Crow

Uh guys... I think it really may be Jason Gore and his wife that are commenting... check out the posts below... the last pic is pretty compelling... if they show us one with him in it, and it is doesn't look like a photoshop deal, well...

WE HAVE A PGA PLAYER READING OUR BLOG!!!

Of course, it is a PGA player who we have constantly made fun of, but so be it. It would be mucho cool if they actually joined the FPGP next year. It does bring up an ethical question though... we don't want to turn Jason into golf's version of Pete Rose.

It may also be someone with a great deal of time on their hands, but I am not getting that feeling here. Check out the post and comments below...

Welcome To Our Blog... Jason Gore

We seem to have lurkers who have turned into comment leavers who are representing themselves as... JASON GORE. Yes fellow FPGPers, the RoundOne is now reading our blog!!! We have achieved big-time. I told you there was a lot of upside to this blog idea. Anyway...

Welcome to the blog JG59... it is great to have you. I hope you understand that we poke fun, because we love. In fact, we have a great deal in common with you... for example:

1. No one in this pool is currently in the top 130 on the PGA Tour Money List.
2. No one in this pool works on the weekend.

See, that is two things we have in common... so let's all just get along. In fact, we would love for you to join our pool next year... if it is ethically possible of course. To be safe, make sure you don't "short" (rules are posted on the right) yourself, even though that might be the easiest pick to make.

Oh, and if you see that AssFuck Baddeley around, tell him to drop the bible, grab his clubs, and hit the damn driving range. I can break 80 from the back tees at that fucking course, so I expect a little more out of "Badds." Thanks.

Good Firewater In Connecticut

Don't look now, but Notah "DWI" Begay is near the top of the leaderboard.

And in the spirit of jinxing myself again,... D.J. Trahan is LEADING. I am sure he'll have a nice 75-83 finish on the weekend though, so you guys ahead of me have nothing to worry about.

Aaron Freaking Baddeley

Seriously, did he just decide to stop trying after his "breakthrough win" a couple months ago? Another fine round of 78 today... he couldn't even beat butter tits!

I think it is time for his hot ass wife to start "witholding" from him. No cut, no nookie! Something needs to be done to get this shit stain to concentrate. Seriously... this is simple operant conditioning... if he shoots 78 and still gets to bang her, who could blame the guy? However, if she has a "69 or better and you get 69 or better..." now that could be truly inspirational, motivating, and effective.

I should write a golf book.

WD for Butterboy

News flash! Gore just withdrew for the Buick. Tried to eat his putter and it didn't sit well with him ----

Is this part of a golf score or 2 phone numbers in Connecticut

3743463 3855334

Coming from Connecticut, I know a few amateurs who'd want a piece of Buttertits this weekend.

Apologies

We have a rain delay for the update for this week... the money list didn't refresh until late yesterday, and I don't see the point in putting up an update on a Wednesday... I'll get the next one up on Sunday, assuming they can actually finish on time.

Also, it completely slipped my mind to depost the last few trade checks... they've been in my office drawer for a while now... I'll do that this week. Sorry if I am fucking up you checking balance.

Update

Jeff had a small disaster in his home this weekend, involving a washing machine that not only filled the washing machine tub but also the entire first floor of his house... as such, he is out of pocket for a few days, and I am not going to bother with an update. We'll get er done for next week, assuming he is able to get back into his home.

And This Year's Winner...

... for the award of "Random Fat Fuck That Plays Well At The Open" is...

Kenneth Ferrie!
Take a bow, Tubs... assuming you can bend through the back. Your award will be presented by Jason Gore, as soon as he finishes off the all you can eat crab legs at the Red Lobster.

Streaming Video

In case you didn't know... ESPN.com is streaming video from the 6th and 10th holes at Winged Foot. So, those of us with real jobs can sneak a peak from time to time.

SHIT!!!

Damnit!!! I was out of town at the beginning of the week, and I totally forgot to do my side bet with Tiger Philp. We always draft players for each major. Damn! Tiger, if you read this by COB today (that's "Close Of Business") and want to do the draft, you can have the first pick... just do them under this post.

My being out of town also meant no update... I'll get one done after the Open.

Bigger and Stronger Players

It has been a sport in recent years where players have mashed the long ball with stunning, stupefying regularity.

It has been a sport where some of the top players in the game have become visibly bigger and stronger.

It has been a sport where, for far too long, there has been no drug-testing policy or even a written rule forbidding the use of performance-enhancing drugs.

No, silly, not baseball.

Golf... (FULL STORY)

Rocco's Demise???

It looks like da Rodent's trade for Rocco may be in jeopardy!!! That's right, after a fine 68 yesterday, he started today's round with a birdie. Alas, after double bogies on the next 2 holes he withdrew from the event! WOW, this tops the recent WD by Allenby. Perhaps his bad back was acting up. Or thoughts of the drop zone on #12 at Augusta reared up and slapped him senseless. Maybe he needs the help of a sports psychologist? What do ya say there Robbo?

Westchester Thoughts

Brett Quigley and Billy Andrade on the top of the leaderboard? What the hell is this, the Rhode Island Open? All we need now is Brad Faxon...

My boy Hunter Mahan is in a nice position... to shoot 77 tomorrow. Currently in 10th place, I expect him to have a stunning 38-39 tomorrow to fall back to the middle of the field.

Some Data

I was just goofing with the spreadsheet to make sure the formulas are correct... here is some fodder for discussion.

Excluding trades and short picks, the top 5 picks in the FPGP to date are:

1. David Duval (113 points)
2. Richard Johnson (98)
3. Stephen Ames (96)
4. "Tour Star" Danny Ellis (95)
5. Jesper Parnevik (74)

Conversely, the worst picks so far, excluding trades, shorts, and the guys who got dumped are:

1. D.J. Trahan (-57)
2. Padraig Harrington (-49)
3. Paul Casey (-45)
4. Jason "Staying Home During the Open" Gore (-35)
5. Sergio Garcia (-33)

The "average" score per player, excluding trades and shorts is 20.8

The median score is 20 (which is Jimmy Walker)

There is also a near perfect correlation with the order of the trades and how well they are doing... what I mean is that the first trade (Jeff's for Greg Owen) has been the best, and they get progressively worse the longer we waited to execute a trade... that may turn out differently by the end of the year though.

Tiger Philp and Trevor Immelman... Separated at Birth?

Maybe I think all people who are in need of a haircut and wear goofy white visors look the same... but there is a resemblance, no? (not in the gut area).

Post Memorial LEADERBOARD

RIP: Tommy Cuthbert

Charleston Post and Courier story on Tommy Cuthbert.

F PGA Golfers!

Ok, not all PGA golfers, but Allenby. Makes the cut and WD's. He best be hurt. I think the PGA should put in a penalty that if you WD for an event, regardless of the reason, you are not allowed to play the next Major, or next 3 events if the player doesn't qualify for a Major.

PGA Championship Curse

So, I was looking at the Memorial scores... and I saw that my Rich "Beem me up some bogeys" shot 83. 83!!! That is just embarrasing. Then I thinking "how the hell did this guy win a major?" and "what the fuck was I smoking when I made my picks" and then "I am kind of hungry..." but I digress.

I looked at the last 20 winners of the PGA Championship. Basically, if this is your only major, you have a shitty career after winning it. Look for yourself.

2005 — Phil Mickelson, Baltsurol, Springfield, New Jersey
2004 — Vijay Singh, Whistling Straits, Kohler, Wisconsin
2003 — Shaun Micheel, Oak Hill, Rochester, New York
2002 — Rich Beem, Hazeltine, Chaska, Minnesota
2001 — David Toms, Atlanta Athletic Club, Duluth, Georgia
2000 — Tiger Woods, Valhalla, Louisville, Kentucky
1999 — Tiger Woods, Medinah, Medinah, Illinois
1998 — Vijay Singh, Sahalee, Redmond, Washington
1997 — Davis Love III, Winged Foot, Mamaroneck, New York
1996 — Mark Brooks, Valhalla, Louisville, Kentucky
1995 — Steve Elkington, Riviera, Los Angeles, California
1994 — Nick Price, Southern Hills, Tulsa, Oklahoma
1993 — Paul Azinger, Inverness, Toledo, Ohio
1992 — Nick Price, Bellerive, St. Louis
1991 — John Daly, Crooked Stick, Carmel, Indiana
1990 — Wayne Grady, Shoal Creek, Birmingham, Alabama
1989 — Payne Stewart, Kemper Lakes, Hawthorn Woods, Illinois
1988 — Jeff Sluman, Oak Tree, Edmond, Oklahoma
1987 — Larry Nelson, PGA National, Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
1986 — Bob Tway, Inverness, Toledo, Ohio

You basically have a list of guys with impressive careers and winners of multiple majors (like Tiger, Phil, Vijay... hell, even Larry Nelson), and just flat out "after I won this I was a scrub"... Tway never did anything else. Sluman never did anything else. Wayne Grady was a top 3 player in the world in 1990, but never did anything after winning this. Azinger, Elkington, Brooks... it is amazing. DL3 is hard to categorize, but he never won a big tourney after winning his PGA either.

I guess the lesson is this... when making an FPGP pick, don't add much weight to the "former winner of a major, PGA Championship" because it means diddly squat.

TRADES

Ok everyone, the trading deadline has come and gone... here are the last 2 moves.

Da Bandit has dropped Alex Cejka and has picked up Chris Smith.
Robbo has dropped Vijay Singh and has picked up Rocco Mediate.

Johnny V. stands pat, which may be the most shocking move of all. I did this last year, unable to move my worst player while I was in 2nd place, and it ended up costing me as I slid to 4th on the last weekend of the year.

As an aside, Robbo admitted that he waited until the 11th hour because he was waiting for Johnny V.'s trade to post on the blog... a little "Junior Bandit" game I guess.

These trades will be reflected in the next update... now that we are stuck with our teams, Jeff and I may not be quite as diligent with the updates... I'll try to do it every week, but if we miss one, sorry.

I am already thinking of some improvements for next year's FPGP. What would you guys think of having multiple trades? If this is going to be some kind of "fantasy league" I think we should be able to make more than one move. And, the more trades, the more cash in the kitty... I don't envision unlimitted trades, as I don't want to deal with those headaches... but maybe allowing 2 or 3. I'd also like to extend the number of players we actually pick, which would also present a "I may need to make more trades" problem. Give me some input on this... I don't want to set it up so that it precludes folks from getting in the pool... rather, I'd like to see this pool double in participants next year... again, more money in the pot, and suddenly this becomes REALLY interesting. I'd love to see everyone recruit one more person for next year... show em the blog, show em the little fun we have... it is about the cheapest entertainment I get.

Here Come the Tears

I am way psyched about the upcoming U.S. Open at Winged Foot and a possible massacre redux, but my spidey sense is tingling. Now I have respect for the dead and Tiger's old man appeared genuine, but aren't we about to be bludgeoned by the "1st Major without his Dad" storyline. The gentle Ben and Harvey Penick thing has been done and I don't care to see Tiger blubbering like Maury Povich after a paternity test reveal. Let's all vow to turn off the set at the first sign of a "man cry." Feherty cowering naked in Golf Digest, Barroid Bonds whimpering on his ESPN show, Adam crying after a semi-final loss in March Madness...what ever happened to some healthy, good, old-fashioned repression. It's time to nut up an play ball without anybody getting in touch with anything other than a velvet cord victory grip!

Bandit Pulls Trigger

Just received word from Da Bandit that he has made his trade decision... I'll post it tomorrow along with Robbo's and Johnny V.'s, assuming they make one.

THIS IS THE LAST DAY FOR A TRADE FOLKS!!

UPDATE 5/30 and FINAL TRADE WARNING

Here is the update for this week:

TRADES MUST BE ANNOUNCED BY C.O.B. TOMORROW, May 31st, 2006. If I don't get a trade email from you, you will not be allowed to make one. Because this is pretty neck and neck in the top 3 spots, I will not post trade information (if any comes in) until THURSDAY. I don't want a repeat of some of the "banditting" that has gone on in the past.

I DONE PICKED THE WRONG FAT MAN!

Double stuffed oreo damn! Buttertits on the fritz and Tim "Lumpy" Herron goes off like he's at a Barnhill's buffet. Here's a hefty we can love; He reminds me of a manatee. This boy has been big since he got his first pair of husky toughskins at Sears. I'm looking for some motivating storyline, this St. Jude's Memphis tournament is less exciting than a WNBA exhibition. I am throwing my full support behind the big behind of the lumpster, any bandwagoners want to jump on before the axles brake?

We Have A Fan!!!

Hey FPGPers... looks like we have a fan... check out the comments in recent posts, particularly those about Buttertits Gore. Looks like his boyfriend "G.W." is lurking on our blog, and is quite upset about our little pool and our comments. Oh well, to each his own.

Welcome to the blog "G.W."... if you want to join us officially next year, your money is welcome. I will reserve Gore for you... at this pace, he'll be going off around 145... or 1/2 his body weight.

Jason Gore is congratulated by "G.W." (striped shirt) after succesfully downing 17 hot dogs before his openning round last week.

ROBBO BACK ON TOP!!

Robbo has rebounded from his brief fall from the top, and has overtaken Stevie V.

Richard Johnson

Go Dick Go!

JJ Finish

JJ Henry played the last 4 holes +4. This included a 7 on the par 4 15th after the crowd began to chant the infamous Schwarzenegger line "Girlie Man" as he approached the tee. So it goes ....

Fat Man Hurt

From the Colonial: Jason Gore, who played with Pampling, withdrew because of a right elbow injury at No. 3. After his drive, he released the club which almost hit a television camera behind him and grabbed his arm. He put ice on it and tried to take one more shot before leaving the course.

Probably a repetitive motion injury from lifiting one-too-many of these.

Jason Gore

From the Dallas Morning News:

Big Jason Gore birdied the final three holes for a 66. Afteward, he stressed the importance of a strong finish. "It always makes lunch taste better," he said "Not that I have a problem with that."

How Do They Get Jobs?

I am sitting in my office, reading the Dallas Morning News while taking lunch... not surprisingly, there is a section on the Colonial, and of course, they have to handicap the field. Staff Writer Bill Nichols has his "projected finish", that player's finish at the Colonial over the last 3 years, and a comment. Here are a couple beauts:

4. Mike Weir, 2003- DNP, 2004- t-61, 2005- Cut

The comment?

"Course suits his game."

Uh, really? Then how come he has not cracked the top SIXTY in the last 3 years?

10. Ryan Palmer, 2003- DNP, 2004- Cut, 2005, t-69

The comment?

"Membership has its privaleges."

What the hell does that mean? I guess Ryan plays out of Colonial Country Club... but his "success" the last few years suggests that he can't win the B-flight Club Championship there.

In their list of players to "watch out for" they list:
Rich Beem
David Duval
Jason Gore
David Frost
Todd Hamilton
Hunter Mahan
Duffy Waldorf

to name a few... what is the over/under for the number of these players that will need to be "watched out for?" 1? 2? I'll lay the line like this... the over/under is 2 for "the number of these guys who will finish in the top 15."

Joel and Fraser TRADES

This just in from da former commish...

Stevie T!!!

Yea, I kow, this FPGP stuff should be on the web but here we go....

1. I am trading Andre "I don't play golf anymore" Stolz for Ian "go Canada" Leggat. In 2005, Leggat was below Stolz on the list (223 vrs 215) and is currently at #220.

2. Fraser is trading Joey "sniffling" Snyder III for Craig "my exemption is almost up" Perks. In 2005, Perks was below Joey on the list (72 vrs 206) and is is currently #228

As they say, da' check is in the mail.....
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These trades will be reflected in next week's update.

WE HAVE A NEW LEADER

Looks like Robbo's "feets are a failin' him." What is he going to do? Who can he trade? This is shaping up to be the closest FPGP in history, with just about everyone but poor Fraser still in the hunt for a cash finish.

Robbo's feet:

Anyone Know A Good Chiropractor?

According to FoxSports - Scott Verplank (shoulder) and Greg Owen (back) both withdrew after playing three holes Friday. ... An iffy back, perhaps that big number on Thursday and bogeys on Holes 2&3 on Friday rapidly degenerated the L4/5, S1 discs, more than likely he had a sore pre-frontal cortex. Oooooh the pain for owners and especially new owners!

Mahan and Trahan

What else do they have in common, other than the fact that their names sound similar and I was dumb enough to pick both of them?...

I just saw both at a bar/restaurant. What are the friggin odds? There were about a dozen Byron Nelson courtesy cars in the valet lot, and these two idiots are the players I recognize. At least they weren't drinking... much.

Yesss!

1st place again! I'm beginning to expect this (after a rather slow start in the FPGP), although I'm not sure how long this is gonna last. Da Rodent is passe'. The biggest threats are Johnny V., Stevie T. and da ever-present Bandit.

Stan the Man TRADE

As FPGPers continue to re-arrange the deck chairs on their respective Titanic's, I am please to announce our FOURTH trade of the week. Stan the Man has dumped Darren Clarke and taken Steve Elkington. This trade will be reflected in next week's update.

Choo Choo Sighting

This morning, I went into the McDonald's across from our apartment... a couple time a week, I go in there, grab a sweet tea (best in Las Colinas), and read the paper a bit before heading to work. Sitting across from me was KJ "Choo Choo" Choi! He had a little entourage and everything...

I know this is not much of a story... it would have been a lot more fun if I saw Jason Gore scarfing down McMeals, but alas...

Boeing Chamionship

The Boeing Chamionship (Champions Tour) is in Sandestin this week about 5 minutes from my house. If any FPGP member needs tickets or a place to refresh, I can support. I fanagled my way into one of the Pro-Ams on Tuesday, but I don not know my draw. I hope I don't get a Super Senior; I'll quit the game if some 70+ out drives me. If I get paired with Loren Roberts I'll pass on some of your comments, er, maybe not.

Stevie T. TRADE...

I have made my mind up on my trade... I am dumping DiMarco and picking up... Bob Tway.

Duval

BTW, as you will see with the updated standings (assuming Jeff ever posts them... if not, I will email an excel sheet to everyone tomorrow), Duval is the 2nd best pick in the FPGP so far this year...

Stevie V. TRADE

This just in... Stevie V. is dropping Todd "how the hell did i win a major" Hamilton, and picking up Shaun "how the hell did i win a major" Micheel. This will be reflected in next week's post-Nelson update.

Close standings

What a year for the FPGP! A close race with almost everyone with a chance to win or at least be in the money (sans poor fu -- ing Fraser!). So, why is Robbo so confident that he'll finish 1st or 2nd??? Who knows what goes on inside the head of a Rodent? Also, early predictions haven't fared too well in the FPGP.

It's nice to see newbie, albeit homophobe, Vic, initiate this year's trading (merci et bon chance Monsieur Vic). This French has likely made his anal opening pucker up! By the way, da Boca Bandit was also on the Jazz Fest trip (a Menage a trois???).

I have also made a trade which will narrow the gap a bit. Things may get interesting ---

Shitty Timing for the Nelson

Since moving to the area last June, I've been waiting for the Nelson... we live right across the damn street from the TPC Las Colinas. Alas, we are closing on a new house on Thursday, and moving all weekend... chances are, I won't even get to the course. Suck. I might try to make it over to the Colonial next weekend instead.

Here are pics of the new house... I guess it is worth missing a PGA Tourney.

Update 5/7 and VIC TRADE

Here is the non-fancy version of the update... Jeff will hopefully clean 'er up tomorrow.

Vic has made his trade... he dumped Sean O'Hair, and picked up Ben Crane at #95. This update reflects his trade.

Rob Da Rodent .....309
Stevie V. .................230
Johnny V. ..............225
Tiger Philp .............221
Jumpin Jeff ..........209
Da Bandit ..............208
Stan the Man ........191
Vic .........................173
Stevie T. ...............130
Fraser ................... -95

This is quite the close pool... first time I can remember it being bunched up this much.

Duval Sighting?

Mr. Duval lights it up on the back nine to make cut and actually get an early sniff at the leaders... currently in 10th place, but likely to drop as scores go low this afternoon.

Duval's card

Vic's Trade Question

Vic posted this in a comment section, and I thought it would be good to put it out on the blog, to make sure everyone understands the rules behind trades.

talonflier said...

I am looking for redemption via the trade, but I have one question regarding the trade. I understand that the player chosen must be lower than the player dumped based on 2005 final positions. Also, I understand all points +/- will be dumped for the dumpee, but how will points for the traded (new player) be calculated? Will it be based off of the current position (serving as the new baseline) +/- future delta, or off the 2005 end-o-year position? Lastly, why do Stevie V. and Rob continually engage (seen in yet another animal reference) in this perverse, reverse anthropomorphistic dialogue with oral fixation overtones (e.g. whose mouth is on whom pix?). They were traveling together for the New Orleans jazz festival (did you catch the caught from behind comment?). I'm not going to point any multi-colored flags here, but you can draw your own conclusions (Stevie also used french which is a foul in any blog). Being new I'll just assume we have a don't ask, don't tell policy in effect...not that there is anything wrong with----
May 04, 2006 9:11 PM

Steve said...
Thank you for the first real question on this blog in months...The trade is simple... you have to pick someone who was worse than your player in 2005. So, if you wanted to dump Sean O'Hair (a good idea by the way), you would have to pick someone ranked 20th or worse from the 2005 PGA Tour money list (O Hair was 19th).Now, let's say you decide to pick Mark Calcavechia... he was 25th on the 2005 money list, but is currently 97th (as of this post). His "starting" point for you would be 97, not 25. At the time of this post, he has earned $332,627. That would be deducted from his earnings on your tally... basically, the way I make the trade work in the spreadsheet is that I capture the player's current money total and subtract that from whatever their total becomes. Hopefully, that makes sense.So, the short story is that your trade basically puts you in that players shoes from the day he starts... his current money position is your start point, and you get credit for any money he earns going forward.As for Rob and Stevie V... I am not sure, but it provides entertainment... less so when the commentary ran through our Inboxes, but that lead to the creation of the blog.
May 04, 2006 9:46 PM

Rodent's Fate

Nice run while you had it, Robbo. But, you're about to be caught from behind. C'est destin!!!

Trade Deadline Approaches

The deadline for a trade is 5/30, and since that is fast approaching, I thought I would re-paste the trade rules for you wankers.
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One trade is allowed and it'll cost you a grand total of $20!! If you make a trade, the points that your new player earns will be counted from that point forward, and the points from your original player will be eliminated whether they are positive or negative. Trade details:

· The trade must be for one of your 7 "going-up" picks!!! That is, you cannot trade your short pick.

· Your trade needs to be made on or before (anytime before) May 30th, 2006. A trade occurs WHEN DA NEW COMMISH RECEIVES YOUR EMAIL. In other words, if one of your wankers emails me on June 1 to tell me you want to dump one of your losers, you will be told “tough shit.” Further, you have 1 week to send your $20 payment for the trade. If the envelope is post-marked after 1 week, the trade will be null and void. There will be NO discussion on this.

· The person you trade for must be ranked lower than the guy you traded. For example, if you want to trade Joe Durant and, he was ranked at #73 at the end of the 2005 season, the trade must be for someone was ranked #74 or lower (worse) at the end of the 2005 season.
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