FPGP

Piling on (pun intended) to JG's Memorial memory, I propose a new feature...BEST PRACTICAL JOKES survey. In JG's case I believe that hole turds are covered in Rule 25c, ball lost in an abnormal ground condition or perhaps you could get relief (apparently someone did) from a loaf made by a burrowing animal exception. We had a similar incident at a special ops exercise at an old RAF base. Jammed up in circa-1940 dorms for three weeks, flying every freakin day, and oh God, the unending rain/fog finally drove someone to transform their normal persona into the the "mad shitter" at night. Night after night fecal masterpieces would show up in the most inconvenient places, bathroom sinks, planning tables, etc... And like serial killers, the donations would escalate to riskier and riskier targets to enhance the self-satisfaction of "the mad shitter." Next came the ops officer's desk which initiated THE MAN coming down with down the heat. Undeterred by curfews, posted sentries, and threat of punishment...the "mad shitter (MS)" went on a bio-rampage. MS must have upped the fiber or began a Mansonesque-cult because the production was at superhuman levels. The CO actually tried to have the specimens analyzed for content to try and match diet patterns to the offender. Clues and demands began to appear on these fecal flounders which threatened continued and more personal attacks if drinking privileges (it was a dry exercise) were not restored and a down day provided (no flying). Morale was at an all time high, though no none ventured out to the latrine at night in fear of tripping on MS handiwork or being accused of the art. Long story short, they gave into the pie-making terrorist and drinking was restored. Full amnesty was offered at endex if he would unveil himself and...the "mad shitter" was in fact not a he, but a she. MS was a female crew chief (maintenance) on MH53s (AFSOC helicopter) who, because of our male chauvinist proclivities moved about us--- crapping at will---without even being considered a suspect. She immediately had a dozen date proposals and was elevated to the title of exercise MVP (yes, most valuable pooper). I am sure your wives will appreciate how our piggish ways left us vulnerable to manipulation and defeat.