I always figured that on any given hole, I could take down a Tour guy like JG. Unfortunately, I usually play 17 shitty ones around it... anyway, today was one of those holes. The 10th at the place I play is a 545 yard par 5, that winds around downhill and to the left. Today it was playing downwind. I nutted a ball off the tee about 350, hit 7-iron in from 195, and drained a 20 footer for eagle. It was my 12 minutes of "holy shit, maybe I can play this game." Of course, it was sandwiched around a bogey on 9 and a bogey on 11... but that is not the point. For one hole, the world was right. I was playing with Krust, and showed him the 7-iron before I hit it so he could attest to it... I knew I was going to make an eagle on that hole... I don't know why.I shot 74, which was not half bad considering I was half drunk and it was windy out. I shot 78 in the morning which was a tragedy... bogeyed four of the last five holes.
The wife is out of town, so I snuck in a "quick" 36 today.Another mini highlight for the day... I made a pair of 2s on the same par 3. Last week I made a friggin' triple bogey on that little hole... today, I made an 8 footer in the morning and a tap in (hit the pin with the tee shot... what the hell?) in the afternoon.
On the day, I had 5 birdies, and eagle, and a hole lot of slapping the ball around the course. Let's start talking trash boys... it's not just about making fun of the best players in the world. That stupid "mygolfrecord.com" has my handicap at 1.9, and I am almost starting to believe it. Woot!Update tomorrow...
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I nutted a ball off the tee [and the cart path] about 350, hit [skulled lay up shot] 7-iron in from 195, and drained a 20 footer for eagle [that was misread and hit a ball marker to move toward the hole].
Nice...
Now seems like a great time to tell the little tale of Jeff's round from last week... he plays on Wednesdays, so I know when I have a voicemail from him on Wed., it is golf related. He relays a "hey, shot 78 today, with a quad..." I think "shit, shades' game is coming around." About an hour later he pops up on IM and I tell him "no strokes in April."
Then the truth comes out.
He tells me he played from the white tees at his golf course. WHITE TEES. I checked. The card has that course at about 5900 yards from the white tees.
So, before we get too smarmy with my game, let's tee 'em up from the men's tees Shades! That little white speck 50 yards in front of your ball? Yeah, that would be my ball. Ha!
Here's the thing... Shades actually hits the ball a decent length... it is not like we are talking about Joel's fabulous 210 yard drives here... he can pop it out there over 250 consistently. So, to even mention a round from the WHITE TEES is pretty pathetic. Excuses were given of course (i.e., "it was a social round", "I wanted to practice.") but none satisfy. I've played a lot of rounds with old guys/women/etc. that play forward tees, and there is plenty of time to talk and be social other than on the tee box. The notion of "practice" makes no sense at all... I was always taught that you practice on the range and you play on the course... "practice rounds" are to learn a course, not to work on your swing, and he was playing on his home course... and what the hell kind of practice is it when a guy is hitting 4-iron off every par 4 tee? Plus, in our golf chatter the ol boy tells me that he is struggling with the driver... so why the hell play a round of golf that won't require one? That is practice? Yikes.
Let the psych warfare begin.
I forgot to mention the two penalty strokes I had to take on #4. So regardless of the tees, a quad bogey and 2 penalty strokes and I would have been at even.
That said, we have something called the USGA handicap system. It takes into account the tees used and the course played. So are you saying that the USGA handicap system is meaningless?
But in all honesty, you are right that I should not be playing from the white tees. My game is much better than that and I should move back for a fair play.
As for "practice", I practice in a way that I think helps my game. Teeing up 4 irons and playing 4 woods more often than I would normally play them has certainly helped that part of my game. As for my driving whoas'.. I can't hit a bad drive with the driver if I don't use it.
Oh please don't make excuses and use the fallback "usga handicap" nonsense. If that is the case, why not just play from the ladies tees, drink a few shirley temples, and then head over to Victoria's Secret for some panties? I mean, underwear is underwear, right? Just don't call and talk about the "woulda / coulda been" round that was from 5300 yards.
Playing a set up to avoid hitting a driver is weak, no matter how you cut it (pun intended). Plus, it will do you no good at all in any tourney you may want to play... I thought you mentioned something about playing in some Am tourneys this year... well, they won't be set up at 5900 yards...
And when did you turn into Michelle Wie? "If it wasn't for the quad and a few penalty strokes, I'd be even." Like those shots didn't happen... fuck, if that is the case, I "coulda been" 67 yesterday afternoon and 72 in the morning. Unfortunately, those rope hooks, chunks, skulls, etc. do count. Also unfortunately, the game is all 18 holes... not just the 12 or so we want to remember (which is why I noted that my eagle was sandwiched by bogeys... shit happens...).
Sorry partner... there is no excuse for playing from the white tees... not for a young guy who can hit the ball pretty solidly. I could argue that their is a net detriment to doing that, psychologically. Play the white tees and hit the ball in the fiarway with little clubs... eventually, you'll need to step back a set of tees, and where will your confidence be? What will be running through your head? "Shit, last week I just poked a little 4-wood out there, now I need to hit driver..." On comes the anxiety... there is no good swing memory... and WHAMMO! out of bounds.
Now go to the range, work out your swing kinks, and play from the friggin men's tees! Otherwise, the places we play in Texas are going to seem reeeeeally long!
I just saw the pgatour.com Fantasy scores. Do you think part of the problem is that Shades' entries play their pre-tournament practice rounds from the "whites?"
I agree with you new texan!! It sounds like shades can actually play a little bit....so if you are playing from the whites, you may as well hike up the skirt and play 18 holes from the red tees!!!!
Bimma... he plays out on Kiawah... if he hikes up the skirt, he'll get sand in his panties. Better to play in slacks from the White Tees.
Bandit... that was a good one... the best is that he has chastised VJ all season, but it is basically my VJ picks that have been the difference... over a 10,000 point lead now. Tough sledding for shades. He's on pace to drop a decent amount of coin.
As a sidebar gentlemen... Jeff had a death in the family (don't worry, he didn't really like his step dad... seriously), so if he doesn't respond to our criticisms, it isn't because he is necessarily hiding... he may be on the road to New Hampshire.
That said, it would be a much shorter drive to NH if he left from the white tees.
Hey JG, no offense, but I thought it was a bit suspicious when you told us that you took a C-note of Mickelson last year during a practice round... did you play from the white tees? Come to think of it, I bet if we (me and you... manno a manno) played heads up, and I stuck you on the white tees at the course I play... you'd be screwed. It would be too disorienting to hit shots that are that short (although you'd probably just knock the damn ball on some of the par 4s... shit... nevermind. I'll think of a better bet... hahahahaa).
I am not in NH yet. I like my mom's 2nd husband. He was an all right guy. It's the term "step-dad" I don't care for.
As for my "white-tee" play, here is where you can buy my panties. I tee it up at 10AM on Wednesday. I'm going to let them drop and play the blue tees. My red face and pink pretty pony panties will not play the white again for many years to come. You guilt bastards.
What I forgot to tell you is that Kiawah is very racist and ALL the tees are white.
Well played Jeff... I figured I could get a month's worth of torment out of this because you'd keep defending yourself... but you took the high ground by falling on your sword.
Let's never speak of this 'white tee' nonsense again. Or your panties. Egads.
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