Well, now that I know that Excal/Tiger/Former Commish has a little money in his pocket, I thought I'd profer a bet I've thought about for a while. I was just going to bring this one up when we were in the desert, but let's let the group hear this one out. As background for the group... we are all getting in on Friday a.m., and playing that afternoon. Saturday, there will be no golf, at least for me and Excal... then, we play again on Sunday afternoon. Here's my proposition for SUNDAY'S round.:
I believe that our hero cannot break 100 if he follows the following rules:
1. He is not allowed to have more than 14 clubs in his bag during the round. Any "extras" must be left in the car.
2. He plays the ball "down"... that is, he can't improve any lie in the fairway, rough, bunkers, etc.
3. He does not tee up the ball ahead of the markers.
4. He does not pick up a putt unless it is expressly conceded by me, and only me.
5. Balls that are struck out of bounds are played as such, not as lateral hazards.
6. He rides in my cart.
I would add that if any of the above conditions are broken, we'd have to assess the appropriate 2-stroke penalties or whatever else is appropriate (i.e, stroke AND distance where appropriate). Further, I'd suggest that Excal has to play from a set of tees that plays between 6400-6700 yards. Since none of us know the course, I am not sure what those tees will be. If they are the "tips" so be it. If they are the ladies' tees... that's OK too.
I was originally thinking that we could bet a fixed amount... now I am thinking it would be more interesting if we did something like this... for every stroke under 100 that Excal shoots, I owe him $10... for every stroke over 100 he shoots, he owes me $7. So I am basically giving him 3:2 on his money to simply break 100 playing by the rules. Surely, that is not a challenge he'd shrink from, is it?
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8 comments:
Ok... how about you can play any forward tee you want, other than the ladies' tee?
And... I'll let you have all your weapons...
And... we'll make it $5/$2, just to keep the damages down.
Come on big boy...
I'd suggest a ov/un score of the temperature at the course at time of tee off. Likely to be between 103 and 107.
I believe the course will play about 6400 and keep in mind that in the desert, the ball will fly about 5 to 10 yards longer due to the low humidity.
I thought that too, but the temps won't be over 100. Checked the long range forecast.
There you go Tiger! 5 - 10 more yards! That will get you up to where I hit my 5-iron! :-)
Man up boy!
I think you fellas should invite Steven Bowditch to come down to Vegas after he either misses the cut/gets DQed/or WDs at Reno. Check out his 2006. Simply amazing.
If by some freak way JG misses the cut in Boston next weekend, I hope he would fly out to Vegas and play with us on Sun. I don't want him to miss a cut, but we could do a $200 best ball. JG vs New Tex/Shades.
Dear Jeff,
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?
Love, Steve.
p.s. We would not stand a chance... $200? You fronting that? Hell, I can't get action from Excal on a small bet, and you want to put 2 hundo down against A FUCKING TOUR PRO? Let me tell you how it would play out...
Hole #1 JG - Birdie, Us - not birdie
Hole #2 JG - birdie, Us - not birdie
Hole #3 I break my driver over your head.
My guess is that a guy like JG can probably walk off the plane and shoot 68 without stretching at most courses that we would play... and if he started making putts, it would be more like 65 or 66. Meanwhile, you suck and I have played less than 10x in 2+ years. I would guess that our best ball score, at best would be around 74, and that is if you mean "two man scramble"; if you mean "fourball" where we just take the best of our scores against his it is more like 77.
Our only chance to not lose the bet is if he laughs so hard at the sight of us, our clubs, and our swings, that he hurts his back. I can only imagine his reaction to me, the guy who coined "ButterTits" and who himself is a "plus 40 waist." If we can also toss him in the cart with Excal, who then gets him drunker than a sailor on shore leave... Perhaps the blinding vision that is the difference between your backswing speed (that of a snail crawling to stay in a shadow and escape sunlight) and Excal's (that of a epileptic man in full seizure trying to swat a fly) would also affect him. Then, I find a way to drive the ball in the fairway, and you find a way to make a putt. If all that happened, we might win 72 to 73.
The damage done to his psyche would not at all be worth it...
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