It's not you. It's me.

The headline read, "PGA Tour pro fires caddie, hires sub from the gallery". I could only think that this might have meant the end of Lou's love of carrying our buddy's golf bag. But no, it wasn't JG who did the firing. It was was Jay Williamson.

No Update This Week...

I am buried with work and will be out of town a bit... sorry gang.

Armed and dangerous

Just when you think you can stick a fork in him, da Rodent is coming out firing. His short, Brett Quiglry, is making a move in the Canuck Open. Lots on potential points to be made.

WHY?

PORTLAND, Ore. -- Michelle Wie accepted a sponsor's exemption Tuesday to play in the Safeway Classic next month.

The 17-year-old Wie is continuing her course of playing as many times as the LPGA allows: eight. The Safeway Classic on Aug. 24-26 would be her seventh event, with her final tournament expected to be the Samsung World Championship at Bighorn in October.

I realize that this is an LPGA tourney that she's getting an exemption into, but really. Are there really LPGA fans that would only buy a ticket to this event if Wie is playing?

Another FPGP golf option?

A possible option for the FPGP golf outing is to try to play in the annual Monkey Hill Classic in New Orleans. The event is run by my brother for charity. The course, which is 4 blocks from the Monkey Hill bar, is called Audubon Park and is an executive layout. So, golf would be secondary to the free drinks and wonderful music but I can promise that a good time would be had by all. Da Bandit and I are already committed to play; we have't missed one yet -- true dedication.

Check out this link: http://www.crescentcitytattooco.org/homeafterintro.htm

and this one from MYspace: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=63569248

Joel and da Rodent's "golf' match

Where was ESPN during the duel between these guys. First, both Excal and Robbo shot triple digits (100, 101) on a goat track in South Carolina. If no one breaks 100, there is no winner -- this is according to the official rules of golf.

Apparently, the "turning point" was when Robbo/Buzz/Rodent 4-putted the par 3 17th. Rumor has it that Joel did not "give" Rob the last putt on 17 out of retaliation for an earlier incident. Earlier, Robbo had summarily refused to let Joel have a free drop from a poor lie in the rough.

Hearing this stuff makes an FPGP golf outing a possible reality show hit. Think big, these two (and da Bandit when he sucks down copious amounts of Dewers on the course) could be our ticket to fame and fortune!

Voodoo Magic

Voodoo repeats, a lead pipe cinch for season championship (jinx, jinx, jinx). Even with a leaky Garcia, Voodoo held on to win the Open with a score of 1121. He was followed closely by talonflier at 1125, then Boca at 1137, and Rob bringing up the rear at 1148. Season totals going into the PGA start with the Balkan-Cajun at 3473 and in total control (oxymoronic for that genetic combo), lagging in second is talonflier at 3505, limping in third is the Bandit at 3509, and flaccid in fourth is da Rodent at 3530. It would take a Van de velde kind of collapse by the professor to allow me to make up 32 points (jinx, jinx, jinx, hex, jinx). Voodoo has $80 (2 wins) and has his entry paid, Rodent has $40 (1 win) , bandit and talonflier have zero skins.

UPDATE 7/23/07

ERIN GO BANDIT!!!

Son. Of. A. Bitch.

I was only tending to my little wager with Excal yesterday... I had not idea that Da Bandit had Harrington in the pool! Shit!!! My once seemingly insurmountable lead has been shrunk to a measley 30 points as Da Bandit makes his typical summer run. Timmy D. has also moved up into "no chance for money" position, although he now leads this year's rookie class as well as Jeff and Robbo. Krust remains in nice position for The Duffer Award.

If Da Bandit's Dumb Pollack (Stankowski) gets hot, I may go on a shooting spree. I think that focker lives around here somewhere. Speaking of which... Let's get 'er goin' there Justin! You little shit!



Don't expect a fancy looking update today... Shade's IM signature says he's "Gone to the Beach"... with the rest of the Charleston housewives.

Excal Wins By Slim Margin!

Excal triumphs over New Tex!

New Tex's squad earned a total of $493,731. Excal's team had $490,763 without Fasthhhhhhh, who's earning I can't get... but I know he made more than $3,000.

Well done Excal...

That puts you down $50 for the season, with a chance to get it square in August.

Too Close To Call...

Did Els make more than Choo Choo, Furyk and Rose combined? I think he probably did, but we'll have to wait and see...

Meanwhile... nice putting Sergio.

Voodoo Holds Lead After Round Three

Voodoo - 837
Talonflier - 842
Boca Bandit - 852
Rodent - 857

Two man race between Voodoo and me. C'mon Sergio you can blow up anytime!

Open Day 3...

Team New Tex has a decent lead over Excal, but it could all go away quickly if Ernie Els goes low tomorrow. Basically, I need to have one of my guys finish tied with Ernie to lock this baby up, or at least have Ernie not finish solo 3rd or better, assuming the rest of my boys don't go sideways.

New Tex:

Choi (-3)
Furyk (-2)
Singh (-2)
Rose (-1)

Excal:

Els (-3)
Casey (+1)
Fasthhhhhh (+4thhhh)
Donald (+6)

Anyone want to lay a few quid on Sergio winning this thing?

Voodoo, One Man and a Few Brain Cells Short

Despite spotting his fellow competitors a man in the FPGP Major's Challenge Part III, Voodoo has the lead after Day Two. Voodoo is at 557, Talonflier at 563, Rodent is at 568, and the Bandit is at 570. Now, after cut day Voodoo no longer is at a disadvantage, but he pushes 5 players into the weekend. The rest of us just pushed the necessary contingent of 4 players into the weekend mix having lost Mickelson (all 3 of us), Donald (two of us), and Rodent losing Allenby to C-Nasty. Will Voodoo put two wins back to back and solidify his season championship position...nah, Garcia will implode.

British Open Side Bet, Day 2

Chugga chugga chugga CHOO CHOO!!!

Team New Tex put the whoopin' down today, but there is still too much windy golf to be played. Here's where we stand after 2 rounds:

New Tex:

Choi (-4)
Furyk (-2)
Singh (+1)
Rose (+3)
Stenson (MC)

Excal:

Els (E)
Fasth (+2)
Casey (+3)
Donald (+4)
Missedcut-elson (MC)

The Rodent Makes It!

Official time was 1139 CDT, but Rob made it by a rat nose with his picks:
Rodent: Mickelson, Furyk, Goosen, Scott, Donald, Allenby (no TB, loses any ties)
Bocca: Casey, Donald, Fasth, Mickelson, Petterson, Rose (-4 TB)
Voodoo: Cabrera, Goosen, Garcia, Olazabal, Els, Scott (-2 TB)
Talonflier: Mickelson, Weir, Furyk, Donald, Rose, Casey (-5 TB)

British Open Side Bet

Hey Vic, did you guys not make picks for the British?

As for me and Excal, it is pretty much a dead heat after day 1. Here's where we stand:

New Tex:

Choi (-2)
Furyk (-1)
Stenson (E)
Singh (+1)
Rose (+4)

Excal:

Donald (-1)
Mickelson (E)
Els (+1)
Casey (+1)
Fasth (+4)

I am scared to death of Paul Casey... I was going to take him with my #2 pick, but didn't think Excal would think to take him at #3. Look for a little 64-66 out of Casey tomorrow.

Who is Gary Player talking about?

CARNOUSTIE, Scotland — Golf legend Gary Player said Wednesday in a news conference on the eve of the 136th British Open that he knows of at least one golfer who has used steroids.

"One guy told me — I took an oath prior to him telling me — but he told me what he did and I could see this massive change in him," said the 71-year-old Hall of Famer and winner of nine majors. "And somebody else told me something I also promised I wouldn't tell, that verified others had done it." MORE

----------------------
Please tell me it's Craig Perks so I can fall on the floor laughing.

UPDATE 7/16/07

My lunch meeting cancelled, so I had some time to toss this together...

No significant changes in ordinal position, other than Excal hopping up a few notches to sneak into 4th place. Byrd's win helped close the gap for Da Bandit, and also put some distance between him and Vic.

With the addition of the Duffer Award, we now have all but 3 players (Jeff, Stevie V., and Bimma) either in the money or withing 125 points of the money. I have to say, that Duffer Award was really a good idea.

Here's the board... hopefully Jeff will have a chance to perty it up a bit.

607 ..... Steve T. / Tex
505 ..... Da Bandit
425 ..... Vic / Talon
339 ..... Excal
338 ..... Johnny V.
301 ..... Stan the Man
181 ..... Jeff / Shades
164 ..... Stevie V.
105 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
14 ..... Murph/MG
-39 ..... Tev
-66 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-69 ..... Krust

UPDATE and Side Bet

I don't have time to get the update done today or probably tomorrow either... just didn't want Bandit to think I was avoiding putting up that pile of Byrd points that he accumulated yesterday.

I am going to use this thread for my British Open Side Bet with Excal... I am going to be making my picks with no thought, so you better whip me this time. You go first. No Tiger. $50 for most earned, $50 for winner.

Caddie Jam-Boy goes to Congressional

A must read for anyone who has been to a golf tournament and likes some the inside information of what goes on in the CBS towers.

LINK

Can You Guess Who's Playing With JG Tomorrow?

Here's a hint:

Heidi Klum and... JG???

In the July/August issue of PGA Tour "Partners" magazine, Carson Daly says that his ideal foresome would be "my father, Jason Gore, myself, and Heidi Klum."

There are so many different ways to go with this... I'll just let it go. I'll say this though... I'll bet you don't get Heidi Klum and JG in the same sentence very often!

UPDATE 7/9/07

PEREZ PUSHES TEX OVER 600 POINTS!

Some reasonably significant changes in the rankings this week... Bandit has taken over in 2nd place, and Vic has slipped down to 3rd... but they are only 9 points apart. Meanwhile, Double P's strong finish yesterday has put New Tex into unchartered territory... this season can't end fast enough!

Meanwhile, the battle for The Duffer Award continues to tighten... three FPGPers are within 100 points of the Krust...

Final Stretch?

ESPN's Jason Sobel says the "PGA Tour hitting its final stretch"

Call it the stretch run, the last phase or the final countdown. No matter how you refer to the remainder of the PGA Tour's regular season schedule, it's apparent that there isn't much of it still remaining. MORE

Was it over when Perks missed his latest cut? Was it over for others when JG finished T2 at the Buick? Was it over when David Duval disappeared off the tour again? Well,... yes? I'll let you be the judge. It's July and I'm looking forward to FPGP 2008: Chinese Year Of The Brown Earth Rat.

JG's New Sponsor!

Per JG's request, I am happy to remove the Nike swooshes and what not that were on that previous photo. I'd also like to officially announce JG's sponsor... Team New Tex. Sponsorship benefits are pretty insignificant... free beer / steak in Dallas... small fan gatherings in the Metroplex. But let's face it... since joining New Tex in April, the big guy is butter-like... that is, he's on a roll.

And we have a 500 + point leader

New Tex had an ALL STAR showing by his FPGP team. Fuyrk, Leanord and, some guy named Gore, all finished in the top 10. Additionally, Kevin Na had another nice finish to add to the already huge weekend that New Tex's top guys had. At the other end of the spectrum, it's looking like MG's lack of a trade may have given away last place to either Krust or Buzz. (Krust, I'm pulling for you.)

Missed it by that much

Great round and tournament JG. Had you made that putt on 18, I'm certain that Brian Bateman would have had his hands full against you in a playoff. Great score none-the-less. I guess word of you being a summer player was true. Get'em at the next one.

UPDATE: Kiss the swoosh goodbye.

Team Tex Kicks Ass!

Gore.
Leonord.
Furyk.

Hell, even a little bit of Kevin Na.

What a Buick for Team Tex!

Updates tomorrow.

Great tourney JG!