Pavin Procreation Paradigm

Regarding the recent success of Corey Pavin and his wife Lisa's pregnancy, I find MG's "estrogen factor" to be an interesting hypothesis. I will research and try to correlate money list earnings with months of spousal pregnancy. She could be onto some new FPGP strateegery (sic) here. Though I certainly wish Corey and his wife a happy and healthy pregnancy, I am not buying the "baby needs a new pair of shoes" appeal...he must shoot 80. It is obvious with the advanced age of his impending fatherhood and the fact he is still lingering on the PGA Tour, he has failed to embrace Erik Erikson's theory of healthy stage maturity and acceptance. Move on Corey, take the year off, your going to need the rest. FPGPers, chime in with your individual best round, lowest handicap examples during your wife's pregnancy.

Sniper!

Could we get a sniper to take care of Kenny Perry please? Thanks.

He's back!!!

Speaking of watching out, look out for "Rocky" boy. The Italian Stallion is back in town!

Pavin Panic!

Hey Vic... you better watch out, the original 'Lil Grinder has been playing some decent golf lately...

I know that Bandit and I are definitely jumping on the Pavin Bandwagon! I just wish we could get that porn 'stache back on his mug.

UPDATE 6/25/07

MAHAN PUTS VIC IN THE HUNT!

Yeah, that was cheesy... but shit. I took that little Mahan puke for THREE YEARS IN A ROW when no on else ever touched him... and nothing. Vic comes along, grabs the little bastard and he decides to have a top 15 at The Open and a win in Hartford. In the immortal words of Da Former Commish... NO JUSTICE!

Here's your update for the week...

483 ..... Steve T. / Tex
466 ..... Vic/Talon
437 ..... Da Bandit
287 ..... Johnny V.
275 ..... Stan the Man
227 ..... Excal
191 ..... Jeff / Shades
127 ..... Stevie V.
9 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
-26 ..... Tev
-54 ..... Krust
-79 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-131 ..... Murph/MG

By the way, if you were to look at updates posted around this time last year, you'd notice that our top 3 FPGPers are on a blistering pace.

You want a surprise?

No, it's not Cabrerra's victory, da Bandits' honorable deed, or even my side-bet win. It's da Rodent, computationally challenged, and dazed and confused by the exchange rate in England (simulated here), paying the asking price for an item.

TRUTH, JUSTICE, AND NO F'N WAY--VOODOO WINS!

Boca Bandit fails to steal the FPGP Majors Challenge. Away in Italia, the Bandit takes it in the bocci balls when upon further review it was acknowledged he switched from Johnson to Harrington (who missed the cut). The net result is plus seven strokes with no penalty since he came forward to correct the error via email from the old country...bravo banditore. The new results are Voodoo at 1173, Bandit at 1176, Talonflier at 1203, and da Rodent at 1208. Season totals are Voodoo at 2352; Bandit at 2372; Talonflier at 2380, and da Rodent at 2382...with Voodoo and Rodent having $20 in their column. Voodoo needs some cut day pain to allow the rest of us back into the championship.

No Update This Week

Sorry boys... too busy today to get to the number crunching, and then I am going to be out of town for most of the week. We'll get an update done next Monday for sure.

U.S. Open Side Bet with Excal...

I think I got Excal, but the numbers are not in yet...

Furyk finished 5 places ahead of the 'Lil Grinder, and should get a big check.
Casey finished 3 places behind Verplank.
Singh finished well ahead of Zachariah.

If the difference between Furyk/Toms is greater than Casey/Verplank (which I think it should be), that will be another fitty.

I have to say, I thought Toms was the worst pick I've seen in these side bets, but he proved me wrong... and even cost me $20 with Timmy. He'll forever be the "'Lil Grinder" to me.

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IT'S OFFICIAL

Furyk earns $611,336 for finishing T2nd, which is more than the 'Lil Grinder ($248,948), Verplank ($194, 245) and Zachariah ($25,016) combined.

Day Three Results

As expected the failure to get four players through the cut is taking a massive toll on Talonflier and Rodent. Boca keeps a narrow lead at 243(+33) followed closely by Voodoo at 245(+35), and then having to take 80s for players three and four, Talonflier is at 265(+55) and da Rodent at 271(+61)!

Day of Disaster

Disaster has struck in the FPGP Major Challenge. With the "Angel" of Death's birdie on 18, both Rodent and I cannot field four players after the cut line was redrawn to +10. This catastrophe makes this week's championship a virtual 2-man race between Boca and Voodoo. Rodent and I must accept the two player's scores left and fill in the rest with the average score of the 3 highest professionals each day...ouch! The standings are: Boca (585,+25); Voodoo (590,+30); Rodent (593,+33); Talonflier (595,+35). Boca still has five players in the field (Els, Clark, Singh, Toms, Johnson, Cink-out); Voodoo has four players (Singh, Els, Furyk, Clark, Stenson-out, Goosen-out); Rodent has two players left (Ogilvy, Furyk, +3 high avg x 2); Talonflier has two players as well (Singh, Furyk, +3 high avg x 2).

Round One is Done

Round one is complete and it is pretty tight.
Vodoo-287(+7), Boca-287(+7), Talonflier-289(+9), Rodent-289(+9)

Word from the Vatican

Proving that we are truely in a global economy, Boca has made contact from the Rubicon to add his last pick. In lieu of my charitable Zach Johnson pick for his sixth man he is going with Padraig Harrington and staying with EVEN for the tiebreaker. I cannot wait for the now fated Zach Johnson victory to unfold.

Event #2 in FPGP Majors Challenge

I am publicizing my picks for the U.S. Open as Harrington, Donald, Singh, Goosen, Scott, Furyk with a winning total of -5 . Boca is dining on tortellini ala panna in Italia and sent in picks early but forgot his sixth pick and the tiebreaker total. Now I know many of the FPGP purists would just offer a "tough shit" and let him ride straight into the ground with only five players, but I as event chairman and supreme commander of the chair I am sitting in, will give him the highest money list player who is not injured after Tiger. So, he has Zach Johnson as his default sixth player and EVEN for his tiebreaker. His picks are Cink, Els, Clark, Singh, and Toms to go with Johnson. I will take the moral highground here, which as we know, just merely silhouettes you better for the kill shot...so let the bitching begin. Anyway the poor dumb bastard is soooo far behind it is more like the equivalent of your 2nd grader's "Particpation Award" as it is me trying to pull some good kharma. The standings after the Master's scores for the season total are: da Rodent (aka trophy poser) at 1174, myself at 1177, Voodoo at 1179, and our bon vivant, the Count Bimma at 1196. Watch out for that Grappa Boca---eeeek, it is one nasty ass headache. One grappa story ends with me waking up on a public park bench in Pordenone, with a couple of Italian shims (she and hims or undeterminable) glaring at me like, well, like a steaka feasto, as I watch my crew bus drive away with my new Squadron Commander on board.

U.S. Open Side Bet with Excal

It's that time of year again...

Ok, here's the deal... 5 players each. No Tiger. $50 for the team that earns the most cashola. $50 bonus if the Open winner is on your team.

Excal is $50 in the hole from our Master's bet, and I get first pick... it's in the comment section.

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Ok, here are the teams and the order they were drafted.

New Tex: Furyk, Singh, Donald, Casey, Mickelson

Excal: Z. Johnson, Scott, Toms, Cink, Verplank

My draft board had Furyk, Singh and Donald 1-3, and I wouldn't have picked Toms or Cink if this went 10 deep. So... I am either going to win big or feel like a complete idiot.

Todd Hamilton is an Idiot

Let the whining begin with this story from ESPN.com.

Money quote is from Todd "No really, I won the British Open" Hamilton:

Of course, all this leads to an idea Hamilton has spoken of often, that par could be abolished, leaving the player with the lowest number of strokes -- whatever that number might be -- as the champion.

"They're always worried about par being a barrier or something in everyone's site that they try to strive for," he said. "They say they don't set courses up trying to get somebody to shoot a certain score, such as par. Well, if that's the case … have no pars on the holes. When a guy finishes a hole, he's not even par, he's 4."

Guess what Todd???... the player who takes the lowest number of strokes DOES win the friggin' tournament!

Maybe if the PLAYERS would stop bitching about what "par" really is, and lack of birdies, they would realize this... the winner of the tourney is simply the one who takes the fewest strokes over 72 holes. I mean, does anyone think that Paul Lawrie feels really bad about WINNING a British Open at 6 over? Ogilvy winning the US Open at 5 over? Who gives a rat's fat ass?

Side Bets

With the US Open starting up in a couple days, I thought I'd make a quick post on sidebets... I know a few of you guys are doing a major by major bet... If Excal doesn't chicken out, he and I will go head to head.

These are the bets that I can remember so far:

1. Shades owes me $10 on a "Michelle Wie making the cut" wager.
2. Excal is down $50 so far in our major's bet, and I have first pick in the next one.
3. Shades is down 11-9 in our weekly PGA Tour bet, and 57,456 Fed Ex points to 31,450.
4. Robbo has a 1/2 game lead over Shades in the "Yankees vs. Blue Jays" bet... that was for $50, right?
5. Shades and I have a "Dice-K ERA over/under" bet... the o/u was set at 4.00, and I took the over... so I am currently winning that one with Dice-K's 4.52 ERA.

Anything else?

UPDATE 6/11/07

Only one change in the order this week, and it's one we can all enjoy... David Toms' big performance in Memphis has vaulted Robbo out of the Duffer Zone. Murph/MG is back in cash position.

UPDATE 6/4/07

This season is really kicking in now boys (and Murph)... some pretty stellar performances from the trades... Perry, JG, and Moore. Also another great performance by one of Bimma's short picks! Bimma may be really dangerous next year if he can decipher the rules!

Once again, there is very little change in the ordinal rankings, and none in the top 3... but the haves are continuing to distance themselves from the have nots. There is also a nice little battle for the Duffer Award going on. The goal of the Duffer Award was to make the pool more interesting for more people, and I think that is being accomplished... the three teams at the bottom of the list would otherwise have nothing to care about if we didn't have the Duffer...

485 ..... Steve T. / Tex
455 ..... Da Bandit
389 ..... Vic/Talon
310 ..... Johnny V.
264 ..... Stan the Man
233 ..... Excal
191 ..... Jeff / Shades
164 ..... Stevie V.
4 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
0 ..... Tev
-35 ..... Krust
-85 ..... Murph / MG
-111 ..... Robbo / Buzz

How about this FPGP dream pairing.

JG, Trashcan and Tiger "No Golf In Texas" Woods. JG had an awesome round today. Great job JG. I'm not sure who pushed who, you pushing Woods or Woods pushing you. Unfortunately Trashcan didn't have the game today to play with the 2 big guys.