Vegas Blog

OK FPGPers, this will be the place for our live updates from Vegas... I can post them in the comment section using my blackberry.

The weather situation ended up changing some plans... Jeff is enroute to Vegas now, escaping before Ernesto reached him. Gotta love Jeff. Tropical storm approaching his coastal residence, and he takes off a day early to go to Vegas... leaving wife and children behind. As he said "we have flood insurance." Attaboy Jeff. I can't wait to go to Vegas for your second bachelor party.

Vegas State Of Mind...

Enough of all this golf and mojo talk... I can almost taste Vegas... we are 72 hours out from our Friday tee time.

I've been swamped at work, and the home life has been stressful... for those out of the know, my mom moved down to Texas in May after my dad died, and she's lived with us since then. That is enough to make any house more stressed. Toss in planning a wedding for November, and we are on high stress alert. I was just chatting with Jeff (IM) about it and commented that the three things that cure stress the best are

1. Tap-in birdies.
2. Rolled up aces.
3. Lapdances.

Which made me think... which of those three will happen more this weekend? Let's think for a minute...

Me, Jeff, Excal and Tev... 36 holes. That is 144 holes of golf. How many of those holes will result in tap-in birdies?

A few of us will play poker... I know I am logging at least 18 hours at the tables over the weekend. You get about 30 hands an hour... so, 540 hands just for me. How many times will one of us see rolled up aces?

Six dudes away from family, wives, girlfriends, etc. How many lapdances can or will be purchased under the "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" rule?

This is really a toughie. Given the level of ability on the golf course, two tap in birdies are a possibility.

From a strictly statistical standpoint, I'd expect to see rolled up aces once this weekend, but with others playing, we could get to two.

Lapdances. Hmmmm... the over/under on that one is probably also two. It is my bachelor party, so I am sure my arm will get twisted into one. Once the liquor starts flowing, I can see at least one more for someone else.

This will be an interesting thing to keep track of...

MOJO In Bean Town

JG, my appologies if I came off as rude or insulting in my comments last Thursday. They were not meant to be. I'm used to trashing talking more with golfers like some in the FPGP, but not PGA Tour pros. I think I crossed a line and for that I appologize. I hope the MOJO returns for you in Bean Town this weekend.

No Update

Sorry dudes, been busy at work trying to squeeze 5 days into 4... We'll get you updates next week after the Boston event.

Stay tuned for Live Vegas Blogging, beginning Friday!

Somebody get that Bandit

Not since the famous movie where a truck full of Coors light needed to get to Georgia while a sherrif tried to stop it was a Bandit so rooted for. But the FPGP Bandit is no 'Bandit' aka Bo Darville, as played by Burt Reynolds. This Bandit received no love and now appears to be on his way to barely staying in the money. Stevie V, with a good JG showing, could run away with the 2006 FPGP. Stevie V's Micheel pick was a fantastic stroke of...well luck. His good luck and the emergence of the #123 ranked golfer on the PGA Tour Money List are working in Stevie V's favor.

The movie Bandit had Carrie aka 'Frog',as played by Sally Fields, helping him to the finish line, but the FPGP Bandit has to have Charles Howell III help him to the finish line, and that just can't be as good.

Forty Plus Inches

Golf World Magazine this week had a small article on golf wear. Listed as one of the best dressed with an over 40" belt was our boy, JG. The author liked the fact that he wore appropriate sized clothing, thus not trying to get into clothes that would obviously appear not to fit him.

For a guy listed as #123 on the Money list, you get the more interesting comments from the TV personalities and print media.

JG, how long is your tour card good for? Are you year by year or did you get some sort of exemption from your win on the PGA Tour last year?

Final question, how big is Tiger compared to you? You must be the intimidating one on the tee given your size and length off the tee.

A Proposition Bet...

Well, now that I know that Excal/Tiger/Former Commish has a little money in his pocket, I thought I'd profer a bet I've thought about for a while. I was just going to bring this one up when we were in the desert, but let's let the group hear this one out. As background for the group... we are all getting in on Friday a.m., and playing that afternoon. Saturday, there will be no golf, at least for me and Excal... then, we play again on Sunday afternoon. Here's my proposition for SUNDAY'S round.:

I believe that our hero cannot break 100 if he follows the following rules:

1. He is not allowed to have more than 14 clubs in his bag during the round. Any "extras" must be left in the car.
2. He plays the ball "down"... that is, he can't improve any lie in the fairway, rough, bunkers, etc.
3. He does not tee up the ball ahead of the markers.
4. He does not pick up a putt unless it is expressly conceded by me, and only me.
5. Balls that are struck out of bounds are played as such, not as lateral hazards.
6. He rides in my cart.

I would add that if any of the above conditions are broken, we'd have to assess the appropriate 2-stroke penalties or whatever else is appropriate (i.e, stroke AND distance where appropriate). Further, I'd suggest that Excal has to play from a set of tees that plays between 6400-6700 yards. Since none of us know the course, I am not sure what those tees will be. If they are the "tips" so be it. If they are the ladies' tees... that's OK too.

I was originally thinking that we could bet a fixed amount... now I am thinking it would be more interesting if we did something like this... for every stroke under 100 that Excal shoots, I owe him $10... for every stroke over 100 he shoots, he owes me $7. So I am basically giving him 3:2 on his money to simply break 100 playing by the rules. Surely, that is not a challenge he'd shrink from, is it?

This Week's Leaderboards

I have the link for the Reno leaderboard, but can't figure out the Bridgestone one quite yet... I'll get it up tomorrow. Same for "JG's Scorecard."

Pinstripes and All Else Are Just Gripes

Being that I grew up 2 blocks from Yankee stadium and played NY Police League ball in the Bronx (before we ran for our proverbial lives to Yonkers and then down to Northern VA), I must say that you Sox fans are hilarious. You'd think baseball began in 2004. One championship season per century does not constitute a rivalry...it's the equivalent of being French and worshipping the one French war hero and thinking you have a rivalry with Germany. The Yankees are the greatest sports franchise in the history of the world (don't even give me the America's Cup bullshit) bar none. They do it with class and respect for the game and an incredibly large cable deal.

JG vs TW

Per MG, part of Nike Golf will be paired together this Thursday at the Bridgestone. Why is Tiger playing in the Bridgestone event? Well, for those who don't know, Nike doesn't make it's own golf balls. Bridgestone makes them for them. So next time you are going to spend $50 on a dozen of the Nike One balls, save yourself a few bucks and buy the top end Bridgestone ball. It likely has the same makeup as the Nike One. Plus, if you are not a professional and are reading this, there is likely little benefit of playing the Nike One or the top end Bridgestone ball.

Bandit's Lead Short-Lived!!!

Once again, we have a new leader! What a season.

Shaun Micheel's performance at the PGA this week has pushed Stevie "defending champ" V. to the top of the leaderboard.

Excalibur Wins Side Bet!!!

Congrats former commish... I had you on the ropes, but then my two boys went backwards and Adam Scott went low. Oh well. That is a hundo for the year. Looks like you are buying me in to next year's FPGP.

On Jinxing...

It struck me that perhaps MG was a bit over cautious with her "don't jinx JG" comment yesterday. Yes, he was off to a good round. Yes, you don't really say things like "no hitter" when a pitcher has one going. However, JG seems to get the opposite effect from the blog. In the early months, he struggled as we commented viciously on such struggles, and his waistline. However, when the dialogue opened up and the MOJO started to flow, JG seemed well, unjinxable. As such, I think the FPGP MOJO clearly overpowers any normal jinx we may have. As such, congratulations JG for making the cut in a major... I am sure you wished your standing was better, but a nice pair of 65s ought to take care of that. Just go get 'er done!

And yes, it has been a long week, it is Friday, I am on sleep deprivation, and I am counting the seconds until I go home. It was either this or my "Go Go Ogi" post that I was going to write, but feared the powerful jinx.

Eight Is Enough!

I was just about to write a sure-to-jinx post about my #4 pick, Brett Wetterich being -4 through 11 holes, and on cruise control... gonna take me to the promised land in the bet versus the former commish.

Then I hit the refresh button on the leaderboard and his name disappeared.

He went from -4 to E in one hole. A snowman. Quad. Double par. Fuck!!! Could this be the beginning signs of a shift for the former commish? Might this be the little ray of hope he needs in this side bet? Time will tell... 4 of his 5 boys tee off this afternoon. I can't see Carl "Don't Call Me Norm" Petterson breaking 75, but I have been wrong before.

Oh, and there is no "JG's Scorecard" link for this tourney. For some reason, PGATour.com uses a different service to do live scoreboards during the majors, and it is a pain to work with... if you want to keep tabs on our in-house pro, just go to the leaderboard link and find him the old fashioned way.

UPDATE: Bandit Gets Legg Up On The Field

I had a few minutes this a.m., and decided to post an update... DA BANDIT has taken over the lead! Ian Leggett's finish at the International was enough to push the multiple FPGP winner into first place. While Da Bandit has the Legg Up, Robbo's "feets are failing him now." Had Robbo simply stood pat on his trade, he'd be in 2nd place right now...

Here's the non-fancy:

336 ... Da Bandit
315 ... Johnny V.
295 ... Stevie V.
288 ... Robbo/Buzz
269 ... Tiger Philp
226 ... Stevie T./New Tex
208 ... Jumpin Jeff/Shades
177 ... Vic/Talonflier
172 ... Stan the Man
- 72 ... Fraser

PGA Championship Bet: Do You Feel Lucky?

OK Tiger, this is your last chance for glory, as they say. Not sure if you are even going to participate after that PATHETIC email you sent me. We'll let the humiliation continue in public.

Normal bet... $50 for best team, $50 for winner. No Tiger. I pick first. I take Mickelson. You can make the next pick in the comments section, and I'll do the same. And I don't want to hear any more whining about you having to feed your family, and no you cannot just buy me a beer in Vegas to settle up. At this rate, I almost hope you cash in the FPGP this year so you can afford to pay off your side bet debt.

Houston We Have A Problem

I have to go to Houston tonite/tomorrow... won't be back in the "doing an update loop" until Tuesday, so there may not be one until after the PGA Championship.

Practical Jokes Part Deux

Ladies I'm back! Sorry I have been off the net as of late...or perhaps this was a much appreciated respite from my blathering. I have been off doing work stuff. I also apologize for missing the Vegas buffoonery; Golf junkets don't fit well into the family schedule right now, something (ahem) new fathers will soon come to realize. Let me regale one of my better golf practical jokes and see if one of you Vegas Vagabonds can pull a topper in between 6 foot gimmes and hostess ass grabs. Working in the bag room while growing up (I may actually complete the process in another year or two) there are certain members who you come to hate viscerally. You know the ones, they cleave to their 100lb Burton suede staff bags, loaded with a small Filipino family, soaked with enough old skin oil to power you through an LA heat wave. Well, this 13 year old, 160lb attendent had hoisted this bag for the last time up to the second rack (said owner refused to go lower rack because he felt his clubs got "clanked" in the traffic flow) and I set the plan in motion. I was going to get this clown to quit the game someway, somehow. Now, this human hockey puck claimed to have been a tour pro back when the earth was cooling, but couldn't break an egg with sledgehammer let alone 80. He purchased a brand new set of butterknives in the form of these Tony Pena blades that even that famous Canadian (oxymoron here) swing genius, Moe whatshisfuck, couldn't hit. Friday afternoon, after Mr X gloats how he has two primo tee times this weekend and to make sure his new tools are well sanitized, I set out to change the loft a two full clubs stronger on my handy loft/lie machine for every iron in his bag. He comes in after his Saturday round about as excited and shakey as that Taco Bell dog...high as a kite 'cause he was pounding the ball over the green all day..."this clubs are the heat," he exclaims! Yes I did, that evening I bent them all back the other way to a full two clubs weak. The next AM we followed Mr X around secretly ('cept the howls and guffaws of laughter) as he would smooth a swing and hold his TV pose as the ball fell hopelessly twenty to thirty yards short of the green. By the end of his round, he went straight from 18 green to his trunk lid, abandoning his cart and clubs 30 meters from the cart return area...as I yelled, "Sir, you need to pull the cart all the way in, your coming up short!" We altered his clubs for the next two weekends and even delofted his putter a little for emphasis (this will really make your ball hop). Victory was mine, as that side of cow and now somewhat warped set of clubs grew dusty and quiet way back on that second rack for the rest of my tenure.

As LL Cool J said, "Don't call it a comeback."

This is either the start of a very nice comeback to make the cut or failed attept at erasing a terrible round on Thursday.

(remember this tourney is using the Stableford System. The higher the score the better)

Tiger Woods is .... Carl Spackler

Watch Out For Trashcan This Week!!

That's right... finally a format where positive (+) scores are a good thing!!! I feel that this is his week... I have seen him put up plenty of "+" scores this season, and it was clearly in training for this event. Go gettem T-can!

Openning Lines on Vegas Golf

Well, Shades, Tiger and I (and Shade's bro-in-law, Tev, who will join us in the FPGP next year) have our tee times set for the Vegas trip. We play a late afternoon round at Beer Creek (or something like that) on Friday, and we have a 1:00 tee time at Las Vegas National on Sunday. Here are some openning line thoughts:

1. No way Tiger Philp breaks 100 on Sunday. Can't happen. After 48 hours of Vegas, booze, lights, booze, boobs, booze, and no sleep, he'll be lucky to tee the ball in the ground without falling over. Toss in the 110 degree heat, and this is a round that is destined for triple digits. I think the right over/under is 110.

2. Over/under for Shades' round on Friday: 96. The dude is flying from SC to WASHINGTON DC, to get to Vegas. He's in the air long enough to fly to London. No chance that he is stepping off the plane and putting up a good number. Can't happen.

3. Over/under for number of balls I hit OB during the weekend. Probably 10. No practice, no play... I can't imagine driving it well on new courses with no sleep. I'd also stick the over/under for my rounds at 90. Last time I pegged it was in May w/ Shades, and I doubt I'll play before Vegas... maybe some range time though. 5 rounds of golf in 2.5 years is not a lot to hang a hat on.

4. Tiger showing up for the Sunday round is about 2:1. He will bitch about the cost, and bitch about being tired.

5. Odds that any one of Tiger's drives that is in the fairway is longer than a drive of mine that is in the fairway: 20:1 Odds that he outdrives Shades: 10:1

6. Over/under on number of clubs in Tiger's bags: 17

7. Over/under on number of putts Tiger tries to give himself in two rounds: 8

8. Over/under on number of holes Tiger will lose due to violating rules on not holing out: 8

9. Odds of me retaining the coveted "Yankee-Gamecock Golf Classic Champion" Cup (aka "da Cup") in a 36 hole match with shades: even. I'd say I am a 6:5 favorite, but I can't pull the "hey will you be my best man?" trick on the turn like I did in May. That was worth at least one hole, as shades was 2 up on 10 tee, and jacked it dead left after I asked him...

10. Over/under on number of times Tiger utters "no justice" during the weekend: 7. For the uninitiated, this the battle cry used when Tiger hits something like a 4-wood from 140 yards only to see it come up short in a lake.

11. Over/under on number of times I yell at myself after a bad shot and call myself "Stephen!" 14. I may not play much, but my temper is still in fine tune.

12. Odds that Shades will play me straight up: 2:1. Come on dude, i don't play anymore! I can't give you strokes! Let's play it even on Friday, and adjust on Sunday? Deal?

13. Over/under on number of "live blog comments" that will be posted to the FPGP blog during the weekend golf rounds: 12. What can I say, I love me my blackberry.

JG - How are the greens at Medinah?

Some of you know JG is in Chicago getting in a few practice rounds. We at FPGP Headquarters hope that it will play huge dividends when the time comes.

What no update?

Yeah that's right. No update this week. Did you think you moved up in the standings? Maybe you did, and then again, maybe you didn't. So what is one to do until an update is made? Plant a tree, teach a child how to read, learn a foreign language, help out at a local nursing home, or leave a comment and bitch about how your bragging rights for the week have been destroyed.

Thank you for your understanding and have a pleasant day.

Aussie Aussie Aussie - Oy Oy Oy

What is it about the facial hair of Aussies?
What is it about the Aussies success on the PGA tour this year?

Robert Allenby

2005 WSOP Champion Joseph Hachem
-Every time this guy won a hand at the final table, the Aussie rally cry went out: Aussie Aussie Aussie - Oy Oy Oy!


Shhhhhhhhh, i'm starting to hear that chant now. There's an Aussie hunting a Tiger on Sunday.

Don't Look Now...

But Tway's Twoops are crossing the cut line border, and marching up the leader board... March on boys!!

That's so Weir(d).

Vinnie Barbarino could not have said it better after Mike Weir goes low in Round 1 of the Annual Tiger Woods/VJ Singh Showcase Tournament, aka the Buick Championship.

Weir did, what Sergio could only dream of doing - MAKE PUTTS. Weir was 1st in putting for the round, in which he went on to finish with a 63.

Vic... Get Yer Ass To Vegas!!

Shades and I are starting a "Get Vic To Vegas" campaign... Come on Vic... a weekend of gambling, golfing, gambling on golf, and the occasional adult beverage... what more could you want? Besides, if Tiger Philp craps out on us, we'll need a fourth... even if da former commish shows up, we'll just play it as a fivesome... me and you versus those three in some kind of fucked up format.

Is PP having Ty Tryon issues?

With the re-introduction of Ty-erd(of)Try(on)-ing, and then reading PP blog, it got me wondering. How many chefs should be in the kitchen at one time. MG mentioned that Ty had "an absolute entourage following him around, coaches, trainers, psych, and agents." So then what would TEAM PEREZ be? We have heard from his PR/Marketing guy, now on the PP blog there is word from his physical trainer. I image he must have a swing coach, an agent, a wife or friend that handles some travel stuff and 1 or 2 other guys that are "there" for whatever reason.

Do all these people have PP's best interest in mind? I have no evidence they don't, but I did post a comment regarding PP's Physical Therapist, "why has he been so injured this year?" PP has been hurt almost all year and his physial therapist has been with him since 2004. Maybe now is just not the time to be advertising this guy on the PP Blog.

He could be an interesting 2007 pick though.