PGA Tour to drug test in 2008

JG if you start looking more like my size in the coming year, we will know what was up. Your leg probably weighs as much as I do, but we know that currently under your shirt you look like the guy pictured above.

Yankee Trash Talk Here

Just in case Robbo didn't know how to start a post, I figured I'd give him (and vic) some space to comment on the greatness of the Yankees. Sure, they're a game worse in the standings than when we started this fun, but they did sweep the Sox... so have at it boys.

Sidbar?

Hey Shades... when you get a break from your busy schedule, can you look at the template for the blog? Not sure why, but the sidebar is being buried at the bottom of the page.

Kind of like the way I'd like to bury J.D. Drew.

Updates

Sorry gang... I continue to be buried... I don't think there is much movement with these limitted field events anyway, but I'll try to get one up on Monday night nonetheless. Going to be out of town after that, so if it isn't up Monday, you'll have to wait another couple weeks.

I took down that Mora audio... I think it was messing with the sidebar.

What, No Chirping?

Robbo and Vic... what's up? Kind of quiet out there the last couple days... you guys only get excited about the Stankees when they win a game or two?

Those Angels are sons of bitches, no?

The New Evil Empire...

Given the recent futility of the Yanks in the post season, and hell... regular season this year... this may be a more apt illustration of the so-called Evil Empire.





Or maybe this works better?




Talon... May the Schwartz Be With You

UPDATE 8/19/07

A rare Sunday night update for you... I have to go out of town tomorrow morning, and didn't want to leave anyone hanging. The lengths I go...

Anyway, no real changes since the last update... my lead over Bandit is a little bigger, but in terms of ordinal rankings... not much. Going into the Fed Ex Playoffs, here's where we all stand...


639 ..... Steve T. / Tex
564 ..... Da Bandit
423 ..... Vic / Talon
339 ..... Excal
307 ..... Johnny V.
306 ..... Stan the Man
291 ..... Stevie V.
243 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
130 ..... Jeff / Shades
35 ..... Murph/MG
18 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-30 ..... Tev
-81 ..... Krust

Can You Hear the Theme Music?

Four games back...The Empire Might Strike Back...don don da da! What can you say, we are you daddies.

WTF?

Who does a guy have to blow around here to get some CBS coverage of JG? I've watched a good bit today and haven't seen a single shot. Meanwhile, Kevin Stadler's round was being covered like his first name was Eldrick. Oddly, JG and Stadler were tied at -17 as I type this... Stadler finished with a 66 and JG was -5 on his round.

What gives? Is Kevin Stadler more interesting because his dad was a great player? They just said on the broadcast that if a player finishes in the top 86 on the FedEx list after this tourney, they are a mathematical lock to get into the first two playoff events. Hello? Our boy is 93rd and with a good finish can move into the top 86. Isn't that a neat little story? Can't something be made about the "Prince of Pinehurst" (sorry... had to) having a nice run at another NC venue? None of this occured to the producers in the CBS production trailer?

Like Dude. I made the cut man.

Someone buy this guy a cup of coffee. How about a coke or something else to wake you up? This guy leads the Greater Wyndham Greensboro Open Championship?

Nice Catch!

Year of the Rat?

Da Rodent wins in the closest event yet in the challenge. None of his four players collapsed and in combination with Els' 66 he held on at 1129; talonflier was second at 1138; Voodoo finished third with 1139; and Boca was tail end charlie with a 1167 total. Voodoo wins the season share and $80 + $40@ for the events he won for $160. Da Rodent won twice for $80, so he is essentially a push. Boca and I, the losers that we are, will render $80@ to the Champion and F U!

No Update This Week

Buried at work again... plus, I don't think there were any big movers that would make a real difference.

We'll get an update done after the Greensboro tourney.

ANOTHER CRUSHING BLOW DEALT TO EXCAL!!

Another major, another triumph for Team New Tex. Despite the hubris that lead to picking John Rollins with his 5th selection, New Tex dealt Excal yet another crushing defeat... here's how it stacked up:

There were two pushes, so their money doesn't matter...

Harrington and the Lil Grinder (Toms) push at +8
Rose and Choo Choo push at +2

That left Tex with Verplank who pocketted the sweet sum of $170,333.

Excal's remaining "players" were Stricker ($51,000) and Cink Sank Sunk ($34,750). That left the former commish about $90,000 short.

Justice.

That makes the score 3-1 in favor of New Tex, so Excal has to cough up an even hundo.

Nice doing business with ya. You can paypal the money, or just add it to your FPGP entry next season... I know you're good for it.

Another One Too Close To Call...

My bet with Excal is too close to call right now... here's how it stands.

Harrington and the Lil Grinder (Toms) push at +8
Rose and Choo Choo push at +2

That leaves me with Verplank at +1 and T10 currently, and him with Stricker +5 (T23) and Cink +6 (T32) currently.

It's going to be very close...

Zombie of DiVincenzo Turns on Voodoo

Oh the humanity! Voodoo was cruising to a threepeat and the season title when Seeeergio DQs at the PGA yesterday. Apparently that lovable Milton HS graduate, Boo Weekly, never really grasped the whole ordinal numbers thing and set up Garcia by marking down a 4 that was really a 5 (Democrats are calling for a special prosecutor and will question Gonzalez on this). The collateral damage also ended Boca's last hopes for a win and left both FPGPers short of four players forcing the application of the High 3 (avg of 3 highest pro scores) rule. Voodoo's other selections have been so strong he absorbed the Rd 3 score (79) and still holds the narrowest of leads at 849. Da Rodent is nipping his heels at 850 and has 4 players and no room for error. Talonflier has five players eligible and is within range at 856. Boca is along for the ride at 867. Rob appears in the driver's seat, but one bad score...or WD...or DQ...and I am right there. This will be the closest result yet so here is the tiebreaker refresh (Voodoo/-6; da Rodent/-3; Talonflier/-9).

????????????


I'm in the Atlanta airport and just saw that the f ---ing choking hothead Sergio was DQed!!! I CAN'T WAINT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED. Not only has he cost me and da Bandit in the side bet but this spanish flea will never win a major. And you guys thought that Rory was embarrasing.

To Paraphrase The Movie "Airplane"...

STRICKER!!!... YOU'RE TOO LOW DAMNIT!!!!

This guy is going to give me a heart attack... should have missed the cut, now he is en fuego.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

62.5!!!

HOW THE HELL DID THAT PUTT MISS?????

Saying Tiger "flirted" with 62 is a bit inaccurate... it seems like he had his hand up the skirt of 62. Wow.

OK, Scottie V... no pressure tomorrow... Just play your wonderful game, and don't worry about Tiger.

Round One Fun

Pretty tight pack at Southern Hills and the scoreboard in the challenge reflects it. Boca is on top by one with a 284 (but has 2/6 with 80+ scores as cut bait); Voodoo and Talonflier are just behind at 285; and da Rodent is just back at 287.

Hey Sean O'Hair...

Eddie Munster just called... he wants his hair style back.

PGA Early Report...

Excal and I suck!

Four guys on the course in the morning (Cink, Stricker, Choi, and Furyk) and they are combined 12 over par. Furyk is playing like Craig Perks... I guess that injury was worse than I thought. Damn.

Excal, what happens if none of our guys make the cut? Is that a draw?

The Picks Are In

The last chapter of the challenge has Voodoo in the season lead at 3473, Talonflier at 3505, Boca at 3509, and da Rodent at 3530. Voodoo has selected his stable for Southern Hills as Singh, Choi, Clark, Els, Scott, and Seeeeergio with a winning score predicted at -6. Talonflier will go with Cink, Mahan, Singh, Goosen, Choi, and Donald with -9 winning the tourney. Boca chimed in with Clark, Garcia, Zach Johnson, Cabrera, Verplank, and Rose and has -8 as the winner's total. The Rodent has selected his horses as Scott, Els, Singh, Michelson, Goosen, and Cabrera and thinks the winning hack cannot make it around better than -3. Good luck ladies!

NFL POOL

If any of you degenerates are interested in a cheap/fun NFL pool, let me know. I have a friend of a friend running one (all online) for $100 (for the season). The game is to pick each NFL game, straight up (no line). Weekly and season winners are paid off...

Let me know if you are interested, and I'll forward along the email to you.

Majors Challenge Part IV: The Voodoo Legend

OK, let's not work the brinksmanship angle on this one, and you know who you are (da Rodent). I need your team of six sans el Tigre and your projection for the winning score relative to par. You have until Wed at 2359 hrs.

Sabbatini is an Ass and Hypocrite

By now, everyone out there probably knows that Sabbatini had a fan booted on the 9th hole yesterday, when he asked "do you still think Tiger is beatable?" Come one... lighten the fuck up.

As if that isn't bad enough, this was Sabbatini's comment about the "incident."

``We're out here to do our job - let us do our job,'' Sabbatini said later. ``Have a little bit of decorum, a little bit of class out there. I guess a few too many beers were talking.''

"Class", "decorum" and "Sabbatini" have no business colliding in the same paragraph. When I was at The Colonial in May, I saw him have a complete hissy fit when he missed a short birdie putt on the 2nd (his 11th) hole. The ball lipped out, and he made a violent gesture with his putter, uttered some "fucks" and started crying like Sergio Garcia to his caddy... something along the lines of "how many fucking putts am I going to lip out this month?" Seriously... I was right there on the left side of the green with a left pin placement... it was clear as day. It was also early so there were not that many people around to hear it... I am sure the little Napolean Complex does this all the time. What a little dick.

If you want to get mad and upset... whatever. But what a prick for tossing a guy who simply busted his balls/called him out. Again, this is the shit that makes professional golfers look like a bunch of prima donas. In what other major sport can you get tossed for something like that? Hell, Yankee Stadium would be empty for every game if baseball players were this sensitive!

When Sabbatini first called out Tiger, I thought "it's about time someone did... good for him!" Now, I hope Tiger continues to bury the little prick.

PGA Side Bet

Same rules as always, Excal...

1. No Tiger.
2. Team earning the most money gets $50.
3. Picking the Winner... $50.

You're down $50 going into this one...

Picks are in the comment section. I go first.
--------------------------

The Teams are in... here they are:

New Tex: Furyk, Harrington, Verplank, Rose, Rollins

Excal: Choi, Stricker, Toms, T. Clark, Cink

UPDATE 8/6/07

Thanks for your update patience last week...

Here's this week's update. No real movement, other than Stan the Man and Johnny V. swapping 5th and 6th place.

630 ..... Steve T. / Tex
576 ..... Da Bandit
441 ..... Vic / Talon
359 ..... Excal
357 ..... Stan the Man
311 ..... Johnny V.
246 ..... Stevie V.
213 ..... Timmy D. / Bimma
147 ..... Jeff / Shades
35 ..... Murph/MG
11 ..... Robbo / Buzz
-47 ..... Tev
-65 ..... Krust

So... This Is What It Feels Like To Be Craig Perks...

This will mark the first weekend since February that I am not going to play golf in some form or another... I have to go out of town for a wedding.

It's weird, the no golf on the weekend... I kinda feel like I am one of Shades' FPGP picks!